Shi Jie

Best Friends' Wedding

2011-11-21T00:58:00.002+08:00

Well, my blog's shit again!!! This was one of the best layout I swear!!! But, guess the link don't work no more. Blah!!

Nehways, my 2 BFF got married, like FINALLY? The once Ms Caron Lim and Mr Ian Tan are known as Mr and Mrs Ian Tan !!!

Through all the bumps, speed traps, tyre/engine failure and all, yesterday, they were pronounced Man and Wife with their vows, signature, sealed with a kiss. I'm really really happy for them cuz well, I've been through thick and thin with them, sometimes? aha!

This was the 1st time I've actually heard marriage vows and all... pretty unforgettable experience, betcha I'll be trembling and perspiring when it's my turn, if there's my turn aha!

S m i l e

2011-10-29T17:41:00.002+08:00

Park Yeeun's Smile

Woke up rather early today, had a dream; I went to the Wonder Girls concert. A few nights ago I was still reminiscing in YEI's chatbox / forum etc. Guess it all comes back? The subconscious is a very powerful thing as I always say.

Just can't wait for their comeback. Took em long enough, for my Yeeun, it's worth it.

Park Yeeun, Perfect has been an overrated word, I think you just made the word, yours.

Death

2011-10-26T01:46:00.003+08:00

The other week, I was feeling kinda weird, odd, depressing and unusual, decided to take off for that Friday. My grandpa died.

My lasts words to him were "Please be good and take your meds, only then you'll recover and then can be back home. I will visit you more often at home ok"

He cried while I held his hands. He knew that was the last time. I didn't. He was 77. I never knew his birthday. He left this behind, I told everyone it's mine.

I still cry to bed. Most nights. I can't handle death, I know.

2011-05-16T23:28:00.004+08:00

HELLO PEOPLE !!! Well, at some point, I find that I am obligated to provide feedback as to what is or has been going on with me because I've been away for so damn long !

I've had

1. Introduction to Economics

My 2nd attempt, I'm sure I'm doing much better than previous attempt; 12/100. I gave up because it was my last paper. I had 2months hospitalization leave then for my surgery

2. Principles of Sociology

My 1st attempt, I did up the notes for section B and C, 50marks and only had 2 hrs to swallow them down. Needless to say I went blank. This is a retake for sure.

3. Financial Management

One of the worst paper the examiner ever set. 3 out of 4 quantitative questions were unseen or unheard of. I had to force myself to do 2 qualitative questions. I need real luck to scrap through on this one.

4. Financial Reporting

The magnitude for coverage is epic, my notes are all over, incomplete, missing questions only with solutions. I skipped the most lessons for this module, hope to smoke it through on Wed

5. Audit & Assurance

I've done up the notes and spot the questions, hope luck is on my side. The crap part is that I have a paper that ends at 6pm and this paper is the next day at 10am. Sigh ~

Looking at the papers, It'll be miracle to clear 4/5 or even 3/5. I really want to get econs over and out. My attendance has been barely 60% for this year, most of it courtesy of National Service recalls, laziness and work commitment. For the better part of year 1, I was able to self study, many told me self study is impossible when taking LSE exams, I had a bit of edge being a Dip in investment graduate hence cleared my year 1, with the exception of econs of course. Nonetheless, year 2 has proved why LSE has been and always been in the top 40 rankings of the world. It's impossible to self study.

1. You have to decipher the British way of phrasing or explaining content.
2. The quality of lecture notes are really absurd, many a times you require to cross reference to study guide.
3. The level of difficulty, well at least in my course of study, cannot be easily absorbed on your own.

I'm taking Accounting & Finance by the way.
So, I will be taking an extra year to complete my degree, and spend an exuberant amount of money just to complete this piece of trash.

I only have myself to blame, complacency has been a BFF for me, skipping class, not forcing myself to focus in class ...

===========

Many may have wonder as to the "happy-go-lucky" mood, in the midst of such a catastrophic meltdown to one's life, or rather to MINE.

If you've read enough, you'd know how much I want and how far I am away and how much a degree would put me in a better position or rather a better class degree is what I need.

I'm out of words, not out of thoughts...

==========

The only consolation is
.
.
.

I've been awarded a permanent position at my workplace, with quite a good raise, about 20%, if lucky, could rise to 25%. It may seem like a hefty chunk of cashflow in. They come at a price, price of my failure in academics. And cost of education ain't cheap, close to SGD9,000 a year... Financial position at home isn't stable as well so the increment will come in handy when things start to break down, like our fridge -__________- recently. The A/C is coughing hard, the washing machine is yelling all the time and my PC has went through 2 heart by-pass surgery and a change of heart early this year $_$

So life has it's ups and downs, from here on, the choices are limited and the path is fixed. I'll try to brave through it once more...

I would not be as "naive" as before and yelling I am going to do this, I will be doing that.
The higher the expectations, the harder the fall ya know, and the pain ...

So well, year 2 is coming to a close, just like Liverpool's awful season, a good period to recharge during the break and to be responsible enough to. . .

==============

Oh, and amidst these painful events, an enlightenment appeared. I ought to treat my parents and my grandparents a WHOLE LOT BETTER !

Not that I am an unfilial brat but I'm the exact opposite! I've always known how great my mum is but I never really had much chance to really treat her well, my dad too of course. I've been really rough on my dad in recent years because well, I expect much of him, he has always been my idol, model ... but he's getting old, really ...

Putting all the unhappiness, anger, desire, envious on the lack of material possessions away and ...

2011-03-28T13:14:00.001+08:00

2011-03-27T20:03:00.002+08:00

我不行了，决定放弃。。。

Confession.

2011-03-27T13:49:00.003+08:00

I'm suppose to head to my SIM UOL revision lecture today. It was for the module I retake this sem, Intro To Econs, which I failed last sem. Here I am writing this entry.

Quite a huge chunk of things had happened recently, work, home, my own life etc. Mostly from work and the stress of exams creeping on to me. Barely able to sleep, I'm always having exams in my dreams, doing my questions or revising, in my dreams and I would jump up, right in the middle of the night. I no longer am able to have the rest I need. I've been sleeping, on average, 10 hours a day. Yes, I do not have school for the past 2 weeks, and I have been sleeping my days away.

4 weeks till exam, 5 papers. I'll be glad if I can clear them all.

Work's really hell, the load... well, try not to talk about load, for now. My friends, my colleagues... my comrades...

Every month-end is living hell, we fight, we battle, together. The support from the other teams are absurdly crucial, especially so, in such a huge corporation. I have no idea what to expect come this closing.

The previous meeting with our superior was an absolute disaster. Words and emotions were thrown in, yet they were all rebutted simply with "shut up and just do your job" "I don't care how you do it, just get it done". Flabbergasted with the response, I just gave up, just going to do my job.

The thing is... when you have friends, it lightens your load, you smile and will just work it through together. You have lunch together, bitch about stuff, have those stupid laugh or jokes and then get back to work.

Now... most, if not all of them are leaving. And the management do not view this as a problem, instead, it is a norm. I'm speechless. 10 change in headcount in less than 3 months, isn't this a clear sign?

I know being a manager, isn't as simple as it look. They do have their own agenda to face, pressure from the management, as well as us, their subordinates. BUT, they are there for a reason, ain't it ?

---------------------------

I've lost my appetite for success, no longer wanting to improve. I lack the motivation to continue, for whatever reasons that may have attributed to such a complete meltdown, for the very first time in my life.

Maybe the stress level of our country's demanding need for the elite academic achievements, luxurious lifestyle and for lacking the ingredients to be whoever whatever I am not.

I can no longer do this alone. I'm done.

I'll stop here.

2011-03-24T21:59:00.002+08:00

SGD200,0000 Ride
SGD6,000,000 House

Say hello to me in 5 years.
ESPECIALLY THE 348TS !!! ^^

Did the math, living comfortably while maintaining my commitment to my naggy mom.
Annual income: SGD480,000

Now tell me, how many people in Singapore has this kinda pay?
Anyone?
Well, I don't know too ~ BUT I WILL be one of em ^^

2011-03-23T21:43:00.000+08:00

Old school Pop.
Cheezie Pop.

2011-03-20T17:19:00.001+08:00

我真的不知道。。。

2011-03-09T22:35:00.002+08:00

You are my only hope...
my only evidence...
only ray of light in darkness...

that

humility still exists.

People still appreciate the little things in life and that comfort is a luxury, instead of a necessity...

2011-03-08T23:12:00.001+08:00

24 hrs a day
7 days a week
365.25 days a year

Facts.

Am I trying too hard to rush things.
Do I have too many commitments.

A heart has infinite volume.

Camera !

2011-03-07T22:36:00.002+08:00

Well, no thanks to the crazy Tracy ma, for the wonder gift ! a pricey Sony Digital Camera! You asked for pics, I've tonnes, have yet to set up a proper account to house them, so make do with what I can now k. Resized image via blogspot kinda deteriorate the image quality, will link you next time to my full folder.

Perfectly clean and clear shot with ISO2400, full frame focus and exposure. With the help of the afternoon sunlight, this is crystal clear!

The only drawback would be the lack of shuttle speed control, I was taking this at night, with my room light, full frame focus and exposure, min ISO @ 100. The return image was blur at to the right. 1/40 shuttle speed, my hands were shaky that's why.

And yes, the point auto-focus. No adjustments were allowed to the F number, I had to manually move to get the Focal point right. If you boys and girls remembered the calculation we did in Secondary 1 - 2 physics on focal point, or was it upper Primary Science, it is measurable for close up shots.

Center AF, hence the blurry image past the AF point, the F number provide the volume of focus / difocus.

It's always good to start from a simple digicam, know it's strength and limitations and how to get the desired effects past the mechanics. Barely 2 weeks? Shuttle count past 230 shots.

Did you know I was such a cam addict?
I only whine, guess you knew.

Thank you.

2011-03-05T01:42:00.003+08:00

Good job xiao di ! -boss

I think i failed miserably.

=====

Lesson learned...

to say NO!
to be firm and just when dealing with official matters.

2011-03-03T21:31:00.004+08:00

What ya doing =P
Hi

=======

.
.
.

It's good be have expectations
It's good, others have expectations of you

.
.
.

What if you do not meet that expectations

.
.
.

What is the measure of stress
White hair?
Weight?
Insomnia?
Sleeping disorder?

What is wrong .
What isn't wrong
What is right

What is life
What should life be

What is real.

========

wants.needs.support.strength.despair.motivation.anger.anxiety.anticipation.expectation...

2011-03-01T21:25:00.001+08:00

Tracy got me a cam
Lena got me a LE Blankie
DY got me chocs
Jan got me Cookies and...
Sister got me my FCUK watch
Vivian got me a 007 PEN!

I'm so gonna upload pictures this weekend !!!!!

2011-02-28T21:13:00.000+08:00

This was my life.

I want it back.

I hope is not too late.

passion.

2011-02-25T19:34:00.002+08:00

What life was all about.
So close to italy.

I still miss it...

ALOT

Happy 24th Boy.

2011-02-23T22:16:00.002+08:00

my only wish:

For life to be simpler, smoother and more enjoyable.

2011-02-20T23:24:00.002+08:00

I would rewrite the lyrics, potentially great lyrics
Catchy tune, a little
Too repetitive
6 out of 10

2011-02-20T02:36:00.003+08:00

I'm sure you meant well and I know you do.
Sometimes i just need a break
A break doesn't necessary just rest
I do get tonnes of fun and enjoyment and break from any and everything else
When I'm with you.

2011-02-19T01:38:00.002+08:00

2 colleagues left ~ Whole dept short of 5 people. Another colleague within the same team is going on maternity leave from April. Because of the lack of manpower, a lot of work are being re-assigned.

I'm supporting HongKong- a 3 person team, in April the team will be left with myself and my team lead, who so happen to be the team-lead of the most problematic country within the Asia Pacific. Hence more load. The other pieces of the reassigned pie (those people who recently left) I'm receiving is like x3 the load and x3 the difficulty of what I am doing for Bank Reconciliation comparing to what I have on hand now.

I look forward to challenges but am crippled due to my commitments in school. I would gladly skip school for work.

My rants on twitter and facebook have always been people leaving, nice people, LEAVING. Because of the unattractive package the company is offering, no one in the right frame of mind would renew their contract here when the job market is booming outside.

Moral has never been this low before.

.
.
.

So much going through my head.

2011-02-19T00:58:00.004+08:00

tobeinarelationshipmostpeoplewantobeinarelationshipbecauseforonetheywanttobeinlovetoloveandtobelovethatwouldbelikethemainessenceoftherelationshipinititallynextwouldbeforthesupportandcomfortoftheirlovedonesbeingthereforeachothercheeringwheneitherpartnerissaddissapointedorjustlendingaearjustsothatheshecouldletitoutofthesystemwhenthingsgetalittlemorecomfortableeitherwouldstarttoencouragetheirpartnertochangeforthebetterofcourseandmanyoftendonotseethisasachangefortherelationshipinsteadjustsomeselfishdesireorcontrolfreakegoswhenwhateachotherwantsismerelyasignoflackofsecurity

I wanna grow old... with you ~
Adam Sandler's Wedding Singer

2011-02-16T19:15:00.002+08:00

Chuff ta bits when I found out it was a wallet I'm getting for V'dae as well as my birthday. Never wanted you to spend money you know?

I'm a lil gh3y to be honest. I have a hopeless obsession for woman's wallet; longish, with a gazillion compartments. BUT! I've never had one of those, or close. Usually the plain-o-boring man's wallet.

Looked like any regular sized wallet eh?

Look at the actual length =P

I'm using it straightaway like duh !!

Thank you for the prezzie, thank your mum for wrapping, *scratch head*. Have no idea.

===========

The day came and went by just like that, like any other days that robbed my time away.

I must admit, all the panic, inconvenience, sadness and risks were all worth it. Just maybe that we couldn't head down to the restaurant to have a decent, or rather proper dinner.

Sorry if I laughed like a moron in the theatre, I'm a crappy person, I love tonnes of crap and Adam Sandler and Ashton Kutcher ARE my all time favourite male idols. Their sense of humour - EPIC !

Blue's the color of the day, didn't discuss, should've taken neoprints :-
I KNOW IT'S KIDDISH, but it's a ___________________ ( i won't say it because people WILL start to choke or laugh their lungs out )

I'm a hopeless romantic.

Sorry i kick your cute ass in pool, just couldn't stand losing to the likes of you. You know why =P so what even if i... not a chance ever! well maybe aha!

==============

Grrrrrrrrrr .... The fake rejections, really took life out from me do you know? I'm a funny guy BUT certain things really not funny T_T

If you've seen my face.

NO! If you've seen my face you WILL continue that way ^^ I know you WILL =P

You said you were going to have dinner with your Fiancee

We had dinner

So I am your Fiancee!?

CNY Part II

2011-02-13T00:54:00.002+08:00

Though I'll admit, it's really tiring going places after hectic school and work schedules... Time spent with family should never be taken for granted. I was so close to staying home.

My younger cousins' have all grown up, they gather around, gossiping about school, life, girls, boys, fashion, parents...

The younger younger ones start to crack jokes and are more accustomed to sarcasm and pranks played on them, in fact, i was one of the victims from their flawless plan.

Lost quite a bit of cash, but it's all good fun, my aunts, uncles and cousins were ALL around, having so much fun playing blackjack. Money come and goes, so worth it to see everyone enjoying. My 2nd uncle lost the most. He was the host, catered the food, provided TV and well, he even sent us home.

Tomorrow he's taking us dinner again, the whole family. No doubt he is the richest amongst us all, he definitely has no obligations to going this far, for us all.

He understood what family meant, and clearly wishes to remind and cultivate our generation as to how a family should be like.

I'm really fortunate, to be part of this amazing family.

Call me old-school, tonight was absolutely priceless. I'm happyAudrey was there too, really hope young couz would be a little more mature and cherish what we can never have in the distant future.

2011-02-12T15:40:00.002+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#$%^&*(AS)Odf;lasfj;l'vknvoiqna3q[pf;3dlwfkjopsepfj'epwjf[9ubks[

this is driving me nuts ^^

2011-02-12T15:09:00.002+08:00

I like to review myself.

For the longest time, I thought, I'm already in control. Screw the financials and blablbalba... I merely meant my own self-control.

Control of emotions, control of anger, love or even hate.

I thought.

But i still can't.

Love is simply handing the gun pointing at your heart to your partner and trusting that they will never shoot.

Some picture i came across, explains love, in perfect sense. *goosepimples*

Distraction is the divided attention of an individual or group from the chosen object of attention onto the source of distraction

I can only distract myself.

2011-02-12T14:56:00.002+08:00

The pace of lessons these days are simply absurd. Listen, absorb, digest and taking down notes. Zero time to ponder, revisit...
I really wonder how people are able to continue to consolidate questions to ask after lessons, which often ends on the dot @ 10PM.

SO I'm pretty much screwed.

I'm not smart kid, I was a weird kid. I was born with the intelligence of Primary School level, I'm stuck'd ever since.

The only consolation about going to school, well much for me, would be the ratio of girls to boys. Higher ratio of girls would meant higher chances of meeting nice babes. In accounting major, we really do have quite a good mix of working class adults, and young ladies.

Just like the one who sat across the isle next to me. Petite, long silky hair, almost flawless complexion with just about the right amount of make up. Icing on the cake; the geekish black frame specs.

That's life in school, 2years and running...

2011-02-08T12:26:00.004+08:00

A balloon is an inflatable flexible bag filled with a gas.
A balloon's properties, including its low density and low cost, have led to a wide range of applications

2011-02-05T02:34:00.004+08:00

I'm glad our queen has truly great fans, rooting for her all day all night long. Regardless of how i feel personally about any or everyone, as long as they are supporting you, whole-heartedly, all's good.

Bless my one and only queen

Yenny Park
-: Park Ye Eun

You deserve. . . only the b e s t .

http://www.twitvid.com/TQQNP

2:44am
Citypulse DA2.03 DAC/Head AMP
Alessandro MS-1

Somehow I can feel your sorrows . . . ?

2011-02-01T23:56:00.004+08:00

"YOU ARE SO DAMN EXTREME"
- my boss.

I had a 50minutes 1 on 1 meeting with her, 2nd most powerful women within the level, this was what she commented.

Yes I am.

I told her my goals and dreams.
She gave me her life-story.
We are at the same frequency.
I'll pledge my life as promised, I understand.

When you do something, you give everything. And when you give everything, you should not expect anything. It's the right way :)

2011-02-01T01:07:00.002+08:00

Wipe the smiles off your fucking face.

Swift.

Precise.

Decisive.

Lethal.

Game faces on.

Choke

2011-01-30T17:29:00.008+08:00

In sports, a choke is the failure of an athlete or an athletic team to win a game or tournament when the player or team had been strongly favored to win or had squandered a large lead in the late stages of the event. Someone who chokes may be known as a choker or, more derisively, as a choke artist. Choking in sport can be considered a form of analysis paralysis.

The opposite of choking is to be clutch. A clutch player or team rises to the occasion under pressure rather than collapsing.

Looking forward to my 1st ever game without an open frame. I choked, right on the 10th.

Choking generally defines any average athletes from the elites or legends. Andriv Shevchenko choked, never recovered.

I've work my entire life never to allow myself to belt under pressure >_>.

It's really hard to always be in the position where one can simply re-compose or adjust him/herself to perform at the optimal level.

Am I just over-relax or overreacting.

=========

I wrote about hating to lose the other day...

Frame 7:
Me: Spare
Her: Open

Frame 8:
Me: Spare
Her: Spare

Frame 9:
Me: Strike
Her: Spare

Frame 10:
HER: X X X - TURKEY
Me: OPEN. 8 / -

IF i had HIT 1 more pin, we'd have tied. I was NEVER in a position to LOSE. I lost. CHOKED.

135 - 133

It was a tough beating, and particularly the reason why I'd love to play with her, adrenaline rush !!!

It's the kinda emotion and feeling that money can't buy!

2011-01-30T05:04:00.002+08:00

doesn't matter if you are late for more than an hour

as long as i get to see you

doesn't matter if i have to take 3hours and 70+ stops to get home

just to spend a little more time with you

doesn't matter.

2011-01-27T00:49:00.002+08:00

I'm not a SORE LOSER but I'm not a GREAT LOSER. I take defeats very rationally and very... It was a great and beautiful win. I was at the bitter end and to be honest, I'm still having recollection of all the bad losses in the past ^^

That's just me aha, COMPETITIVE !

Stop ! I really hate this, things really have to change. NOW!
-this has nothing to do with winning or losing, just me

2011-01-25T23:10:00.002+08:00

sick, finally.

Been avoiding it for ages.

Down with flu.

Not those mucas filled nose flu but flu (influenza virus) that cannot be cured using medication but only your own immune system to whack it out.

Not been drinking enough water for the past 2 days, definitely not been sleeping enough since 9 - 10 days ago ^^

So I will go to bed =P
So I'll be healthy when I see ya

I almost forgot, thank you for cherishing my gift.

2011-01-25T22:52:00.003+08:00

- continue

I've yet to buy my watch, the FCUK leather strapped, simple black face with red dial watch
I've yet to save enough to go snowboarding but it's ok, like my mum said, environment changes much faster than you can ever plan, just gotta keep chasing da dream
I've yet to start my study plan:- this is an effing serious manner
I've not bought those "needs" yet, which is a good thing actually.

2011.

I want to visit Trace and co.
I want to get my bike license:- Top Secret™ my mum will just die
I want to continue to learn and improve
I want to get results that is RIGHTFULLY deserved
I want to get a new PC
I want to paint my room
I want to remove my bed and have a RED SOFA bed
I want my increment to be worthy of my efforts
I want you to be happy
I want

.
.
.

I'm no longer as emotional as I used to be, when I look back on things I've plan and all. Too many people have told me to just do what I can, within my limits, things that are not within my grasps, leave them be.

:)

The old school helm with goggles for the Vespa!

Ducati ^^

Trusty White Vespa

2011-01-25T00:00:00.002+08:00

2011.

I've yet to actually make an assessment of 2010. 2010, had been one of the best and worst part of my entire 23years 340days.

.Workload reached a career high
.Financial issues reached a historical low
.u
.Met Ye Eun twice
.Hugged Ye Eun
.Met my twiddy from States, Ms Vang
.Met my nuna Trace, twice.
.Met Lawrence and Patrick
.got sorta jilted
.lost a car, not mine anyways
.failed a Uni Module
.Lost 13kgs only to gain 10back
.
.

Life's been real hectic as days went by, I've been chasing my own finances for quite some time, a lot of commitments, surprises ... ^^ I'd labeled it, HAPPENING!

Looking back on the entries made . . .

:) Memories

tbc

2011-01-24T00:21:00.003+08:00

It's the first time I won all games within the same day. The alley was renovated, but it wasn't good at all. Averaged 130 for the day with 5games, min 103, max 151. You need to buck up! I want the pressure and excitement that set my blood pumping like crazy ~

.
.

.

.

I want to . . .

I yearn for . . .

I really do . . .

My life was totally robbed, time flew by just like that and you needed to...
It's not as if I didn't know, I sat facing the bloody digital clock which changed it's time by multiples of 7 or 8 . . .

Not used to seeing you leave, never will.

In excess of 10,000secs of your absence.

It felt just like

I wanna grow old . . . with you.

2011-01-24T00:14:00.002+08:00

I know I've not been around much but I'm really tied up with work, school, my own stuffs, meeting my grandparents etc. It's getting all really hectic . . .

=======

My Fischer Audio Eterna v2.0 died. I had it for about 6 months. It's the best fit IEMs I've had, or earphones in my entire life. I spent $45 recabling it hoping to fix the left driver's intermittent loss of sound issue but to of no avail.

.
.
.

Back to Balance Armatures? Dual drivers? Headache.

======

School's odd, she leaned forward and asked if I had dinner, I said no. Feeling weird I asked why, she said she didn't want my stomach to growl because she brought food. -_- I told her to just go ahead. I regretted. She took out a nice sandwich with lettuce and SPAM luncheon meat and IDK what.

Of course she was cursed ^^ she had to climb the elevator up to the foyer HEHE ^^

JUSTICE !

2011-01-20T22:17:00.001+08:00

"woah so cold, i'm like shivering, the aircon blow at me like free"
"I thought you Jacob?"

Self pwn.

2011-01-20T00:07:00.002+08:00

lol, still couldn't believe we watched this. >_>

Glad you enjoyed it, it's a show i really wanted to watch because of the raving reviews... and Anne Hathaway of course. After her cast in Devil Wears Prada, woah!

remember, i'll be there, whenever I can.

Thus far.

2011-01-16T14:16:00.003+08:00

Days after they left, I still couldn't get a decent picture of the bottle caps. They are right in front of me right now. If only they stayed here. Then, it might be different but, at least we could meet up as and when we wanted.

-------

You are irreplaceable, wished I could help.

------

If only I still had it, then I'd be able to take you to...

It was never mine, my dad had it when he was right about my age. I'm being such a prick for having such thoughts. If only I was half the man my dad was.

------

I was suppose to help my colleague to dismantle her shelf. I ended up playing PS3 on her new 50" LED TV, watched Dark Knight and had her made me seafood pasta and not getting the shelf done. She even sent me home later on.

I know I should have been visiting often, I miss you too. I'm glad I met you because you're the only few people who had been through what I am about to.

And I'm really happy you're getting to where and what you want to be and have. Please stay healthy and happy always, my other mommeh !

------

On my way to school, I saw her, some petite cutsy sweet girl that was in my Sociology class. Of course i knew her cuz the class was relatively small and ... ^^

Still remembered she came up to me one day, during break and said, "I didn't know they sell this here" And I initiated to make her one which she gently declined, then I realized her sticky bf is always around the corner.

"What a ugly bastard" I thought ^^

Then again, such irregular imperfections of the laws of attractions, provide chances to guys like me, a shot at something we thought we can never have.

2011-01-12T18:07:00.000+08:00

t's probably the 1st time she said she appreciates all the things he has done.

A few simple words, meant the world to him.

I guess, everyone just need a little recognition, along the way.

2010-12-25T06:46:00.005+08:00

He honestly had doubts about her coming out initially, though the responses and replies were more positive then negative, no firm answers were given. He was prepared for the worst but kept faith.

The night before the thought, "It'd be nice to receive anything from her, hand-made would be BEST, a card made from toilet roll or a bookmark..." He smile and went to bed.

Morning came, he drop a text just to be sure that she is indeed meeting him. Took her quite awhile to reply and he was already flustered and pessimistic about what will be going on.

The phone vibrated first, with the ringtone of the goddess singing. It read, "About to? Woops!" It's been awhile since he felt this much happiness, what was felt from that queasy part of the stomach suddenly was ravage by the indescribable burst of bliss within which way surpass whatever was written on his face.

They met . . .

He couldn't help but just pass her the gift because he had no place to hide them anymore (Most boys hate carrying bags and stuff so...) and she immediately took out something for him too! Though he wasn't expecting anything and her presence would definitely be suffice as always STILL everyone loves receiving a gift.

It was a pack of self-made cookies, by her

.

.

.

He thought to himself...

Somehow, some way or another, she was able to "come out" with the simplest things in life that I've always wanted. I never once doubt what I see in her and I guess I've just fallen way way deeper.

2010-12-13T23:44:00.003+08:00

Sorry to my loyal readers of my crap and rants that I went missing for the past month or so. My comp died, but I was able to revive it spending a fraction of what I need to pay for a new rig. So I'm back !

I'll consolidate what I've wanted to post ~

.
.
.

The other day mum said that the PRCs are tainting the neighborhood. They're dress nicely but their behaviour and actions are simply disgusting. I would have agreed and add on further if I was who I was... but...

My mum grew up when Singapore was growing at an absurdly rapid pace, the change in living environment, eating habits, working environment and even language spoke. Having lived through that, I'd expect her to understand what the PRCs are going through you know? Everyone learns and adapts, they're being brought up that ugly way, so right now, they only know how to behave, in that particular way.

I kept quiet and didn't say much because I would've hurt her, and it's really hard to be changing her mindset now. All I want is for her to be healthy and happy, at the same time, be humble and wise, someone, my children can look up to.

=======================================

Courage

This was once a GCE 'O' Levels examination, English Language, Composition question. 40% weightage of the whole exam. It's just 1 of 6 questions you can get and we are never encouraged to attempt such a question.

Someone did, in his paper he wrote 3 words.

This is courage.

He scored full-marks for this essay.
.
.
.
.

Well, i personally thinks

.
.
.

this

is

courage.

Flo-Rida sure can't handle him.

2010-11-11T23:41:00.000+08:00

Spent 3 hours planning my study plan. Finally it's up. ^^

2010-11-07T21:59:00.002+08:00

Thurs: Finished work at 9pm sharp. Missed class again.
Fri: Slept till 2pm, work till 8pm. My recon and kpi not completed as of today. Sneezed like crazy! Chat with Trace and Lena. Got a text from Lena at 2ish am ~ ahhaha she got IT !

Saturday

Woke up at 7am, 10minutes later then I should be, I've already gear up for fishing, left home at 7:20am thereabouts.

As planned, I was 10 minutes late, had breakfast, some bun from Breadtalk and a cup of "yuan yang" (coffee with tea). Results for fishing was absolutely devastating. 3 trips in a row, fishless, this dry spell has to go!! We were so hardworking man, tried with sinker, with float, handline with float, live prawns, dead prawn...

Packed up and off for some Lan Gaming at Katong. Before that, I ate like a monster. Kway Chup + Fishburger with fries, baked beans and coleslaw. Fully satisfied and off to game! We played for like 5 hours man !!! The bill came up to $9.40 each. It's $1.80 / hr so we did 5.22hrs ahhahahah! Just the 2 of us, we're mad.

The funny thing about us is we are so much alike. We taunt each other while playing a team game (we're in the same team fyi) and we would beat ourselves up and keep trying when we failed. 6 times we tried to clear that TD map, still we failed BUT we stopped because we know we are already at our max. It's a 8person map, 40 levels, 2 of us cleared till 31st.

We used to work together, he was my supervisor, we didn't really start off well, I was screamed at for making a silly error ( i heard wrongly dah!! deadline = 2weeks, I took it as chase only after 2weeks ) and it was like my 3 week into serving at the Ministry of Home Affairs. L O L

Best thing about being guys is... you do not really have to 2nd guess if their intentions. Most if not all men, are straightforward and decisive. I used the word MEN, fyi. So, he wasn't the most popular guy in the department but he certain knows the correct people to get things done. Didn't like him initially, I thought he was like a fake. Thank god for SWC (Staff Welfare Committee) that we had to work together and the rest are history.

The day he left, I've still got about 6 months to serve, life was not as fun without him around aha. We still would prank call each other aha. OH THIS ONCE ! I called his supervisor to look for him AHHAHAHA, it was really stupid but we couldn't care much.

Read it off somewhere, i think it's something like

" it's only with the right company that one can behave in such absurd stupidity without having to bother about how others think. "

I'm glad that amongst the endless catastrophes, I know I still have my friends... my family ~

Precisely the point I don't give a shit about what most people like to think about me. And reason why I'm so vulgar (I prefer to use the word expressive though but no one would agree with me =\ ) Just deal with it, else fuck off ~

Anyways, I'm revitalized! Totally refreshed to finish off this busy week, and looking forward to Dec's arrival and starting on my revision ^^

Grading

2010-11-03T23:34:00.003+08:00

It's been 3 months plus since I've started at Hewlett Packard's Global Business Services, Accounts Payable, None-Inventory, Hong Kong team. (HP GBS APNI Hong Kong). Minus off my 20days of absence due to reservice, I'm about 2weeks shy of 3months into the job.

Today is my first YEC ( Year End Closure ). Crazy as hell, wrong entries made, wrong attachment sent, careless mistakes here and there.

Excuses:
1. I was being cramped to learn EVERYTHING during the 1st 2 months while people take about 4 - 6 months to learn everything.

2. Fatigue, due to work and study at the same time, hence the loss of concentration at work.

I believe i made the correct choice by joining HP.

a. Gives me a good idea how accouting originated from
b. Understands what MULTI-TASKING really is.
c. Finally having to have my own set of work and not requiring approvals after approvals.
d. Reality check as to where I stand
e. To find out if I'm really able to and should go into the Finance industry.

The teammates have been very kind and tolerant of my carelessness and forgetfulness, support and help me in whichever way they can, ensures that I'm learning and not spoon-feeding me. Entrust me with responsibilities which, my errors, would ultimately affects their performance bonuses.

My boss has left, my new boss, is my ex boss's boss who is the head of the whole Accounts Payable Department, has been very supportive. She does let me know that silly errors should've never been made but I do feel a little biasness towards me.

All of them have been nice as my work ethics and attitude is clearly distinctive, compared to the peers around me. In my utmost honest opinion, their quality of work, is definitely MUCH better then mine. Most of them do not have previous working experience, and hence the responsibility level is not as adequate.

I'm doing the extra, and ensuring that my work is done, was solely because of the ultimate ego lingering within. I dislike being criticize. I don't really enjoy being question too and hence I try to not allow such events to occur. Of course they do, when they do, I get fucking upset. Like today.

Also, I'm studying part-time, I can't work OT most of the time.

Work is being distributed and expected to be done, when 1 person does less, the rest does more. I think it is only fair that I do my part, or slightly more because they are really flexible with my schedule and workload.

So, after all this whoreshit written, I'm just doing the bare-minimum. OR Fair-Value, to the amount I'm receiving every month.

So
.
.
.

I still do not think I'm being accessed in a harsher or stricter environment than I'd like to. I shouldn't complain, just afraid of not being able to deliver.

Great Escape.

2010-10-31T22:39:00.002+08:00

F i s h i n g

Shimano Sienna 4000B on Berkelay Lightning Rod (full carbon graphite, very good conductor of electricity ^^")

An insult to the scenery with my inept Nokia. Love the breeze and waves

They often say fishes are attracted to the channel, no luck for me =\

My mentor, and his wife. ^^ sweet ?

Another family having fun fishing

I MUST go for another fishing session after Year End Close ! Simply adore the time spent. 5hours odd... gone with the wind. This was about a month back I guess? Totally miss this...

We used to fish like weekly?

2010-10-31T12:06:00.002+08:00

Got myself a little something. They were retailing at US$69.90 each on ebay, some nice girl I met in forums sold me for half the price.

It's those prize you win playing the UFO machines actually. The Halloween version aren't even released yet ^^

Pretty gh3y, but I just adore Bears being violent ~

2010-10-28T21:45:00.005+08:00

I seriously have no idea where to start...

Most would know that I blog like I'm trying to write a 10,000 thesis about living, or writing a never ending boring book. It's in such details because I do have a very short-term memory, when I back-read, I remember all the fun minor details that are lost along the way.

I've not started revising my notes at all, where's a rough gauge at where I am

Intro to Economics: 70%
Sociology: 20%
Financial Management: 50%
Audit: 40%
Financial Reporting: 40%

An ex-crush was with me during my econs class, she used to wear braces ^^, I don't want to fail econs again hence more effort and I understood more. I missed half of my sociology lessons due to National Service Reservist, those lessons were core for exams purposes and sociology is about content and indepth understanding about ideology of different sociologists, i've yet to start. FM is a tier higher than PBF, I think I can figure em out by referring and self studying. Audit is tough, I missed 1 lecture, it's quite boring and dry and you need abundance of knowledge about recent events and audit/accounting policies etc. Financial Reporting is like POA, you can do it the lazy and stupid way, or try to really understand. I missed 1 lesson and it might prove costly.

I was sick on Sunday evening, after dinner, didn't have much fruits and fluid thus at the receiving end of my own ignorance; the body does give signs and warnings, I simply ignore it. Lasts till Wednesday.

------

I'm already so sick and tired of the songs of Wonder Girls on my PSP, honestly. The only reason why they're not out of my player ...

Park Ye Eun's voice, stood out just like that, stunningly unique, filled with explosive passion for music and ...

People say "You're really hardcore Wonder Girls fan" I just smile.

------

Selina of S.H.E, the Taiwan female trio group, was on the covers of most papers. She had 4th degree burn on her body, this is only after one brave soul who put his body in front of Selina... nothing was said much about that guy, because he wasn't at all famous.

It brings me to... if I could save a life, by exchanging mine, anytime now, I'd just do it. Kill 2 birds with 1 stone; A sweet escape, saved a life too.

------

我真的很不快乐。。。自从二 O O 七年起，我就立下了自己的目标。二 O 一一年就快要过去了，我不但一点儿进步也没有，反而还比当年来的要糟糕。很多人都说我的比喻是不公平的，我应该照着现在的状况来衡量自己当初所摄下的目标。但是我觉得这些都只是安慰自己的烂借口。。。

看着别人们都已经上了逵道，或都已经有了成绩，心里不但地感到非常失望，对于自己是多么的厌倦。。。

荣顺给缘忆娶了外号 - 小熊猫~ 我也不知道的中文名这么样写 ~ 就是不想让小熊猫看到我说写的一切, 因为就，家家有本难念的经，我就是爱发牢骚，也就不想别人多操心之类的。。。我很确认的是雷纳根本都不可能了解我再说设么！~ xD

但我告诉过自己，这是我唯一能够真正面对自己的地方，懂得语言也只有那两个。。。但要把内心的感触用中文来表达，的确非常困难。。。

我的中文也不过如此。。。 B3 吧了。我放弃了，回到英文吧~

I'm so sick of the pace of life in Singapore. Squeeze your ass just to get into the train to work, and then fight for a place on the company transport, work your ass off at work, rush to class in a sardine packed bus. Long bumpy uncomfortable ride finally ended, the perfect condition to start the learning experience.

Close to 9pm at Jurong Point, you have to queue so darn long just to withdraw cash, and queue again at a Fast Food Restaurant, I gave up queueing and went straight home. It's just so irritable, and annoying, I'm so angsty, sluggish, unmotivated, drained and just felt like a living dead.

I so wanted to be just a simple diploma kid, having just enough, and being happy because life around me is simply mediocre. Being able to have a psp is like buying a brand new car, having Crystal Jade is as wonderful as going to Paris to eat escagots. To not be judge base on how fat your bank account is, whether do you drive or own credit cards, how do you look, what certification do you have, but just as a Human Being.

Challenge to Singapore: To be a truly globalized City
-Straits Times or TNP

We already lost our hawker centres, most wet markets are proposed to be tear down, playgrounds that are barely half a story high, with sponge mats... what more do you want to take away from this country just by producing the superficial "surface materials" the super rich, dying to be rich dream and yearn to have or become.

Countless occasions, for the better part of 2009/2010 I've told myself, it's merely the low point, it's rock bottom, the only way is up. How many times must I come back to square one again? How many times must I look at the same surroundings, the same shit, the same crap, if only it's the same, it ain't! IT'S FUCKING GETTING WORST !

This just don't sound right, it never sounded like me, like that, I've always believe... I still do, but I just lost it.

Passionless, outta gas... I need some time, away, alone, i really don't know...

离开地球表面。。。

sick and tired

adjective

Definition of SICK AND TIRED

having one's patience, interest, or pleasure exhausted sick and tired of wasting her time at long, pointless meetings>

Synonyms bored, fed up, jaded, sick, sick and tired, tired, wearied

Near Antonyms animated, energized, enlivened, excited, galvanized, invigorated, stimulated, vitalized; amused, entertained; beguiled, bewitched, captivated, charmed, enchanted, enthralled, fascinated, hypnotized, mesmerized; delighted, pleased, thrilled

不想太多，我想一定是我听错弄错搞错拜托，我想是你的脑袋有问题。随便说说其实我
早已经猜透看透不想多说只是我怕眼泪撑不住~ 不懂。。。到底发生了什么事

***I'm not suicidal, just in case -_-""

2010-10-26T20:00:00.000+08:00

I need an andriod or any phone that allows me to blog. I forgot what I'm suppose to blog ... AGAIN!

2010-10-25T20:58:00.002+08:00

Blogging requires passion, time, commitment... and most importantly, a great camera, a photographic memory or a notepad to note down... that perfect momemnt

There's so much to blog each and everyday, it must be recorded at that time that moment.

I really wish to blog right now but
.
.
.

2010-10-17T22:35:00.002+08:00

It rain this morning, so there wasn't soccer.
My bank was short of 12 hundred bucks, which is why most of my past transactions failed.
I'm borrowing from my own bank again.
I hate the pace of my life. I don't hate myself.

.
.
.

TBC

Cat person

2010-10-11T23:32:00.005+08:00

I told myself I'd get a weekly cup of Starbucks just to energize myself for being such a hardworking kid. Today, during lunch, I walked to Starbucks, and as I gaze at my favourite drink, looking at the price;$7.30 nett. I might as well get a nice set of salad !

I U-turned and went to Food Barn and checked out the salad, roasted chicken with mushrooms, $7.00 nett. I walked back to my office.

=================

Recently I found a real steal, an Olympus E510 Entry level DSLR with a really good entry Kit Lens, with warranty going for $390.00 2nd hand though. Retail should be $999.00. I just text the guy that I will not be getting the camera.

I really love a cam

================

I went to NTUC to grab some items lacking to make my salad, Shiitake mushrooms, lettuce, tomatoes and 2 cans of Tuna... I put it back and settle for whatever is left at home. For dinner.

Niao, is how you pronounce cat, in Hokkien, a Chinese Dialect. Stingy, is it's meaning.

3 months back, I told myself to save for the Liverpool trip, or at least something worthy. I spent $100 on a wireless keyboard + mse set. I am not going to make any Tech purchases till 2011, it's my promise to myself.

================

This is concentration. Trained by the grandma. Pic taken at OCBC Mighty Savers™ Roadshow.

I took the picture with my lousy handphone cam, in a cab

Inside the flyer

Self pwned

you've no idea.. do you?

Anyway I'm going jogging tomorrow night, because don't eat won't die ~

I hate losing.

2010-10-10T22:19:00.004+08:00

I hate losing.

It isn't that I cannot accept defeat as it winning and losing is part and parcel of life but rather simply to lose because we do not deserve to lose suck real hard.

The fact that everyone is trying their best but you are not, the fact the you give up on yourself and your teammate, the fact that you simply can't be bothered about the team but just having things your way. We lost. (I'm not quoting anyone. It's just my view about team games in general, be it sports or cybergaming)

Effort and determination are priceless characteristics of a person, often hidden beneath every single person on earth because he thinks that he is incapable, others are better or stronger. That self doubt instilled and that lack of confidence, are just what it takes, to take away EVERYTHING a person could possibly have, or achieve.

It'll be a long blabber if I continue writing.

All I wanted was 100% commitment, is it really that hard? Live your lives, with no regrets.

Love is in the air.

2010-10-10T03:24:00.007+08:00

===================================

Shifty went to grab a cup of bubble tea he has been dying to gulp it down for the longest time. It was simply the perfect day; work are all done, it's a Friday and there was no lesson for the day.

The train arrived and he did the usual "NO drinking in trains and stations" ignoring all signs and stories about being hit hard by the $500.00 fine, chompong the pearls making those squeshy squashy un-glam sound while entering the packed cabin.

There were stares and of course jealous eyes coming from all round (Bubble tea is the next most sough-after beverage after Starbucks and Coffee Bean in Singapore) of course he simply continue doing what he loved, but there was this angsty source of energy coming from just left of him. Like Shifty would ever give a shi* about how the public view him as (an overgrown egoistic young chap with utmost pride and confidence lingering within) but he got extremely curious and went to turn left to come eye to eye with. . .

One of the most beautify face he's seen all week. She had this big round eyes, very black silky dark hair, shoulder length and of course his personal insane obsession about glasses. "Must be heading home from work" he thought while turning away after a long 2secs of eye contact. (Shifty didn't get his name because Shift sounds really cool) And at the corner of his curious eyes were still trying to get a glimpse of this simple beauty he adores, like any "plain Janes" in dramas or movies, there will always be a beautiful & charismatic angel beneath, just like any other un-polished diamonds.

Her make up was rather thick though BUT she should do so much better without it. Dressed in a white stripped blouse, A-line skirt, finished off with a simple pair of black cork shoes. (Oh yes another obsession with blouse). Both were having glimpses through the reflection of the train doors and ...

He made up his mind, he'd approach his Angel right after, at the station she alight.

Plan A: If she doesn't use the express lane while riding down the escalator, he'd stand behind her and. . .

"I'm a Finance Associate working at... and studying at... I'm ...years old this year. I don't think this is appropriate but I doubt I'll be boarding the same train in the same cabin at the same door with you again so if you wouldn't mind, can we be friends." (Takes out his mobile phone)

(If she still doesn't get it) "If the mobile number is too private can I at least get an email address."

(And if all else fail, he'd simply smile and say) "Thank you for beautifying my weekend. You look really ... have a great weekend and maybe we'll meet again soon I hope !" (Turns and walk away straight.)

Plan B: If she does uses the express lane down the escalator (we do have the standing lane and the express lane in Singapore ^^) He'll give her a tap on her shoulder and ...

"Jurong East Interchange. Passengers who are going towards. . ."

Her body language did pre-amp Shifty that she will be alighting.

As the train comes to a stop she briefly waited to see if Shifty made any move but Shifty, being ... leaned back to create space for his Angel to move through the sardine-packed crowd.

Right before she left, she took one last glance at Shifty, that half a second, that face and the pair of big round eyes, were already etched within his memory. As she walk through that door, towards the escalator . . .
==================================

She was probably 19? definitely younger, his heart stopped beating for the journey back home, filled with regrets yet he smile and laughed at himself. There was no way she'd interested in some old looking guy, wearing a half ironed polo-t with a pair of uncool straight cut jeans and sneakers; ie. An odd job laborer ...

or maybe i'm just too deeply into you . . .

2010-10-08T23:01:00.000+08:00

i was suppose to blog about

Liverpool
Luis Garcia
Losing
MRT
.
.
.

L
a
z
y

2010-10-03T15:46:00.003+08:00

I had a tiring week, extremely tiring. I had a proper rest on Wednesday which explains why I'm able to last the week... only to be down with runny nose and headaches on Saturday. There goes my weekend.

Anyway, there's someone who keeps getting free drinks from me ehh! I'm not the kinda people that will chase my money back because it just don't feel good at all. It's been awhile already, just 1 drink shy of the $10 bill. I wouldn't mind actually but... lol anyway that's besides the point.

I've been lighting up for most of my lessons maybe except for audit because it is indeed a little bit dry. Falling on Tuesdays doesn't really help much either with month end closing adding the weight on. I can't believe I am saying this but I'm slowly feeling econs, for realz.

Horoscope indicated that October would be the month I will have to shine and sort of prove myself. Looking at the situation it's pretty much the case, especially at work, where I am starting to be filling in about 80% of my jobscope. The only worrying thing is that I may have to miss class on certain occasions because of this.

A letter came, a cheque of $107.25 accompanied by a bill of $1,250.35. My insurance is up, I think my aunt didn't change it so I'd have to fork the cash out anyways. Blah, just when i saved enough for surprises, surprises came to me. I owe myself $1100 already, I've to start paying myself back, alongside with interest. I did up my finance 3 months back, and I didn't follow up. =_=

This is such a bad entry so I'll stop for now, I'm not writting a proper entry -_-. Oh

DDay T+6 Site Rep

2010-09-25T17:41:00.002+08:00

Year 2 Time Table

Monday: Financial Reporting
Tuesday: Audit
Wednesday: Principles of Sociology
Thursday: Financial Management
Friday: Introduction to Economics

Survived week 1, totally smashed, I slept my day off, woke up at 2+ on a Saturday, time now 6:43pm, simply meant the Saturday is gone. It's only week 1, I've about 30 odd weeks to go.

UOL is simply shit, they didn't mail me the form for continuation fees, I've to haunt them to get it, totally bullcrap. I hate to be bothered by such trivial admin matters, waste of time. Yes waste of my fucking time, and TIME is something i DO NOT HAVE. Pain in the arsehole totally.

.
.
.

This is a F M L 2010/2011 Year 2 for me

Day 2 - Audit

2010-09-21T23:16:00.003+08:00

Left office in a rush, totally forgotten to check my class schedule, called my sis but she was sleeping !! Lucky she called me back :)

Was totally alone in class today, so busy at work so I slept through the first hour of lecture. Luckily it was just pure intro to the overview of what audit is like. Missed a video though =\

Survived the class, totally shag...

The worst thing is not that you have to work like a peon before coming to class nor survive through the lecture. It is squeezing through the ride, only to reach Clementi or Dover MRT Station and then take a train towards Boon Lay, then walk home. It's such a tiresome and waste-of-time process. I NEED a car

J
o
k
i
n
G

Grabbed a Mc Flurry to end the day ^^

a moment of magic, godsend ?

2010-09-21T01:10:00.002+08:00

I wanted to but we couldn't. So I was on my way back, reminiscing about funny moments... It ain't all funny but what I really like is the way I was able to be, calm and relax, always laughing and smiling
.
.
.

And i rode down the escalator, going to the post office to mail Tracy her surprise while still holding a few images in my mind and as i turned, the image became a little blur, I tried to focus and it became nearer and nearer, closer and closer...

I couldn't believe my eyes.

I wanted to stop and say hi, then I thought why not just text later or something but then my hand started moving by itself, going towards your direction, sub-conscience is a very powerful tool and that's when I bumped into you and hoped
.
.

That 2 secs
.
.
.

the way you look

.
.
.

your smile. Priceless.

That 5 secs. . . was enough, for now . . .

Not.

Colleagues

2010-09-21T00:49:00.003+08:00

I've been twitting about some funny stuff happening at office recently aha. Yeah yeah, that eye candy is indeed seated next to my cubicle, pretty distracting man ^^ . And I did went to school with the other colleague. She's only 21, and already graduated, now taking the remaining 2 modules to be eligible to take the CPA cert -_- Look where am I?

D-day arrived ! 1st day at school was pretty alright. Manage to focus about 70% of the time and wrote down stuff that matters. Having a friend in class helps too, cuz she's quite fidgety haha I won't sleep and she does take notes and ... I hate to say this but I'm quite easily "instigated" in such instance because I hate losing ^^. But i did day dream... of you know who lar.

The bus ride to school was pretty alright, trying to find topics were pretty much ok, it's just a matter of how much do I want to. You know, after a days work, you might jut want to take a nap, day dream or listen to the mp3 right but she's pretty alright after all ^^

Having Audit tomorrow, just simply hope I'd be able to concentrate and enjoy the lecture like I did today.
.
.
.

Studying isn't all about doing modules, exams, means to an end. It's mostly about doing what you really like or enjoy, then you'll be able to relate, motivate or rejuvenate yourself somehow and eventually do well, even better then expected because you just enjoy the process of learning, gaining knowledge...

Sunday Soccer

2010-09-21T00:18:00.003+08:00

As usual, the gang turn up, a surprise visit by a classmate that went overseas to complete his scholarship (On SAF Scholarship). Charles Eu, really surprise he made his way down just to have a chat with us. Thank you to the watergirls for coming down too =X

Things were pretty alright until a few bunch of novice decided to take matters into their own hands. 1 asshole kicked my friend, twice. I went straight up and confront him of course, another idiot said "The other guy started kicking my leg first" -_-

These people look older than us if not the same age, I was utterly speechless, I told the rest to just leave, no point playing with retards/fuckheads/gangsters. As we left the field, another idiot came to confront me, saying I should just shut up and let them settle amongst themselves and I talk too much. So much for National Service and Moral Education in Singapore eh. I was so ready to put a first into that fugly face of his and started intimidating him. His replies were totally retarded, the other friend couldn't take in and went straight in and asked him

"If it was your friend who got kicked, would you have kept quiet?"
"I stopped play, the ball didn't move, and I stood there and he kicked him, you tell me who is at fault?" said the friend who got kicked.

The rest were history ^^ In case you guys wanna know, they pack up and left.

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My favourite pic of all... dedicated to that few losers...

2010-09-19T22:25:00.000+08:00

I'm suppose to write a lot of stuff but... I guess I'll write during lunch.

2010-09-04T23:20:00.002+08:00

Officially, UOL Ba. Accounting & Finance is over.
POA: B / 60
PBF: C / 50
Stats + Math: C / 50
Econs: U / 12

Modules to be take for 2010/2011 Year 2
Intro to Econs (Retake)
Audit
Accounts Reporting
Financial Management
Principles of Sociology
Time table: Mon - Fri 7pm - 10pm.

Target: 2nd Upper Honours ( 540marks / average 8Bs )
Requirement for Year 2: 2As, 3Bs

Chances of 2nd upper, odds 1:3, 25% chance, considering of the workload and school load I've on hand. Even 2nd lower seems enough challenge.

Enough said, Sept 22nd 2010 onwards, no time for fooling around, full speed ahead. Live life to the fullest, with no regrets. Till then, enjoy what I can, what I have.

People asked me why didn't I attend my on graduation, I said why do I want to be there clapping hands for others while feeling miserable or sorry for myself... If I ain't going to make 2nd class, then I'll never have the chance to throw that ugly hat ever again ^^

2010-08-28T12:55:00.002+08:00

Suppose to be only for short while, but thank god for the extra many hours. I was robbed, of my time and... :)

..
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I just don't know how to write anymore. Gonna miss you like nuts? The past few weeks... now I'll just have to get used to not... >_<

The back view of yours... etched into my mind, every time we said goodbye.

Failed

2010-08-26T00:05:00.000+08:00

http://www.trackmyspace.net/blog/ways-to-fail-exam/ --> More fun stuff

pretty much my style, my assignments filled with remarks like that xD

http://whi.s3.leg.entries.lg1x8.simplecdn.net/20090111012524.jpg

I felt like...
It was back to how it used to be
I asked myself before...
I do deserve for that because
I did miss 2 months because ...
I missed 7 important lectures for soci
1 more mod, extra cost...
1st time actually

What i meant is, felt like shit, totally... Doesn't matter if people will never know you repeat. Anyway, just...

I need a god damn break, 1 week off, like just 1 week to clear and see everything, re-org and just ... 1st 3 months aren't allowed to take offs.

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I failed econs ^^

I just hoped or prayed just so maybe you'd... needed a bit of support ya know

Opps

2010-08-22T03:43:00.002+08:00

I'm 23, with no savings. I'll be in debt for quite some time due to the repayment of my education, as well as some other repayments I'm required of. This is really really absurdly bad. I want to get married when I'm 26, look's like 28 is more viable. Which meant, I have less than 5 years to wake up my god damn idea.

No more silly purchases of gadgets or whatsoever, no more cabs, no more crazy money on meals and definitely no more splurge on DVDs. I need to get my act together for real. My life has already came apart, and if I still do not pull myself together

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I'd waste my life.

past 2 weeks or so... was simply, amazing but I'm really running out of excuses you know. Every goodbye just makes me so ...

2010-08-12T02:48:00.002+08:00

12 hours never seemed so short

i wished time would stop there and then

never failed to make me laugh

never forget your unique smile

you've no idea how much i love what u did... like... i really ~

regardless... thanks for the memories

do this again soon... i hope then ...

Bully

2010-07-25T21:26:00.002+08:00

More than a month ago, Jan asked me if I ever bully people. There was this smile on my face. Many times people would define smile as being silly, or a smurk or something cheeky, but it could simply be a substitute for feeling embarrass...

Let's go Chronologically.

Kindergarten

1. I never bullied people, I just kinda lie... I still remembered who I lied to and I told my mum, and my mum said " A promise is a promise, how can you keep telling people the countless tomorrows ". That is when I learned, what a promise is.

Primary School

2. I was trying to be smart, i picked it up from some adults who said "It's not that I am tall, it's simply that you are short."

A few classmates were congratulating me on my perfect math test again and this young prick came and said "Yeah Shi Jie is always the smartest". He wasn't at all the nicest classmate I had and I said "No, I ain't smart, just that you aren't that clever". Everyone laughed, it was mean, really mean to say the least.

A few years later, his mum called and asked how did I do for my academics. Well he scored a 4.0 GPA in Ngee Ann Polytechnic. Justice! to him :)

3. Yong Lip Chun, I still remembered this guy. A very nice fellow, I'd safely say he's my Wingman in school. I made use of him once, because we're short of players for soccer, I called him and told him to tell his mum that he's going for tuition ( we went for the same tuition group so I know the schedules ). It was bad, I've not met him for ages, wondering how he is now...

Secondary School

4. Mhd Gaddafi, I must say he deserves EVERYTHING that was thrown to him. During his birthday, the whole school was against him, eggs, flour, packet drinks ~ aish. And there was this one time, the tried to pull down my PE shorts, he succeeded, half way ( I always do that to him like 100times? haha ) so I turned around and said "Chiong AHHHH !!" 2 person blocked his escape route and haha, I tugged his pants all the way till his ankles and left. I'd say god was on my side because there's this lower secondary class coming towards his direction and they saw him. He was scampering like a mouse, pulling his pants and trying to get up and running and shouting "SHI JIE SHIJIE SHIJIE !!!" hahahahaa.

Polytechnic

5. Thomas Lum Jing Hui. The fact that i remembered his name, well sums it all. I was an ass, a total prick. I have nothing against religion just that I can't stand people who preach all the time! He for one is such a person and he's uber hardworking, the kinda classmate i HATED. We were asked to choose 1 assignment out of 4 to do, he asked if he could do all WTF?

Well and he loves to ask questions and I'd just laugh it off or make crude comments at it. He was nice, all he said was "Shi Jie be nice".

Year 3 1st Sem came, I was having too much fun and I needed help for my final papers. He was there, with copies of past year papers and answers, not only that, he came on weekend just because I needed help.

Year 3 2nd Sem, we were in the same Final Year Project scheme, he was given a B+ while I was given an A. I did my job well, but he definitely did not deserve a B+... his efforts and dedication were priceless. Yes he isn't the smartest people with great EQ too but him, being real and truthful... is what our society clearly lacks.
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Ever since then, I've lost my edge, lost my sharpness. I became who I am now, being called names, being laughed at or yell at. It didn't matter... all I wanted was for the people who matters to me, to be happy.

And yes, I wasn't as smart or as fast or as bright as I was then, but if only by being an ass would make me rich... I'd rather be a pauper my entire life.

At least, I get to sleep in peace, every night.

***Sincere apologies for not including certain names and details because well haha I did bad things before and yeah.... ~

On9 Quiz

2010-07-14T20:24:00.001+08:00

Here is the analysis:

Love at first sight is your style. You are not fussy about who you fall for, and often there seems to be no rational reason for you deciding to love someone, it just happens and you'll follow your heart. When you do fall for someone, you fall completely. Your love is somewhat child-like, or what people like to call "puppy love". While following your heart is important, you should also remember to use your head occasionally.

Occasionally is key :)

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx -> Try it!

2010-07-11T23:40:00.002+08:00

There's this hopeless boy who does things using his heart and well, things got really hard and tough. That's life.

To carry on with visions and values or to move on, if you can't beat them, join them.

Success? Triumph? Winners ...

What is winning without values? Real Winners
What is winning with values - Dreamers.

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what about you?

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and you have no idea how much i've miss you and ... how little time i would have left.
and my heart sank when i know it was coming... then it wouldn't be fair right? But i thought it'd be just us... though there was, this very little time...

1st i dipped my toes in, now my right foot is in and i'm prepared to go all in... the consequences and damage are... beyond measure but I'll never risk not knowing what could've would've happen... so here i go.

Market

2010-07-04T11:25:00.003+08:00

I still owe you guys a Fan Account on the previous Wonder Girls thingy i go, sigh give me awhile alright?

When was the last time anyone of you went to the wet market in Singapore. My guess is long long time ago? It's one of my weekly itenary during the weekends and my favourite part of the day. The slippery floor, smell of raw fish and poultry, shouting and bargaining of stall tenders and customers. Absolutely the Singapore I knew and grew up in, a culture or heritage, soon to be lost.

This wet market survived a late scare by the government, as they attempt to move towards a cleaner and "better" environment and paving way towards more Supermarkets. I was one of the 300 odd residents, who put our signature to say NO to demolishing our few "real and authentic" wet market. Praise the lord for helping us too, the market is still here.

As I returned with breakfast, I saw my mum chatting with a granny, she's just waiting to pay one of the stalls for her purchase and she just lived on the block next to the market. We chat as though we're like old neighbours, bystanders might actually think that we're relatives due to be fluent dialect we conversed in.

The breathe of fresh morning air, accompanied by the stench and noise... It's an experience I'll never forget...

A cam is all i need and time is running out... these will be gone in time to come.

2010-06-13T20:10:00.001+08:00

Usually when I head over to centre east, I'd just use the intercom to get the staff to come out to receive their items. 1 I'm lazy, 2. So that I do not have to go in and look around ~

This particular day, when I was about to dial the extension number, the door unlocked, there was one of the sweetest smile I've ever seen, I opened the door and she came to me and said

"Who are you looking for"
"Oh I'm looking for XXX, she's from wealth, so it's on this side right?"
"Yeah, let me open the door for you, she's located at the right hand corner, you do know right?"
"Yeah I know where she's seated, thank you!"

and the door's opened.

I left while thanking her once more before leaving back to my office.

=======================

The following 2 days, I went Centre East about 7 - 10 times? But she wasn't on duty I guess? It was someone else. And she said "Hey, you come here quite often eh?"

It was very early in the morning and I wasn't wake. Else I'd just say "yeap, I get to see this beautiful girl every time I enter so why not?"

Just about the few things that keeps you sane at times. Both of them have met me before but none were as nice before. Just one of those lucky days.

=======================

Aish, no replies, no phone calls, gotta take a new picture and attach to my resume!

2010-06-08T23:27:00.002+08:00

There is something about this Family I've found. I can't wait to meet them all, like ALL Of them!

======================

Quek Siurong, he's a accounts manager from Kingsmen, servicing our corporate account mostly for events. Didn't had the best impression when I first met him, now I think we're friends instead of simply clients and "dunno the word"

It's easier to work with people of the same frequency, you get things done TOGETHER in a very swift and organise matter.

I do not think 4 months is a good gauge but I think it is enough to let me know that I will leave after this contract.

2010-06-07T20:04:00.002+08:00

She lean onto him, closed her eyes.
He wrapped his arms around her.
李圣杰 was singing LIVE.

God bless them eternity....

2010-05-26T22:34:00.001+08:00

I'm sorry but dear Mom and Dad, just leave me be alright. There's nothing we can do right now but to see it through. 3 -5 years, we'll be better, I promise...

So just don't worry ok

2010-05-26T20:20:00.002+08:00

I tried to post on veggieland but everyone's in the mood and I don't want to dampen the mood plus I've been the only one ranting and I don't want them to worry.

Caron said "It was worst when I was at your level"

So I think, "These 3 years will be the lowest point of my entire life"

Poor planning, poor time management, selfish, selfless people... speechless.

2010-05-26T19:26:00.006+08:00

Food for thought.

http://tinyurl.com/2cjmwe3

So I am going just suck it up and complete the remaining months and leave. Actually there is nothing much to grumble or find fault with. It's merely the work culture, that is here to stay. No one says much, everyone just suck it and do their job. That is why, they are staying and I am leaving.

Suck it Up !

It's only 1 particular person that I am having quite a lot of problems with anyway. The problem has persisted since day 1.

So I'm going to work on my resume over the weekend.

2010-05-25T20:39:00.001+08:00

why does things just get harder and lousier and . . .

2010-05-24T22:48:00.002+08:00

5:45am: Woke up
8am: Reach Hougang
10pm: Reach home

What happened to "go home 1 hour earlier?" Apparently i was told that people feel I'm paid a lot. *raise eyebrow* It is probably the first time in my entire life that I felt that I am underpaid and undervalued. Though it was only from one source, I should just take it with a pinch of salt, I've felt it way before.

It's in the culture that you people are like that, but that doesn't mean that I have to be like you to work with you. You have no life doesn't meant that I have to have no life. The difference is shown in our pay grade? I'm paid 3 - 5 times lesser than most of you, so I can work 3 - 5 times lesser?

Just because your work is deemed more "important" does that meant that my job is insignificant to be paid lesser? The amount of time we spent is about the same and yet I get paid peanuts?

=====================

That's the bad side, T Hav Ecker once said the poor has no idea what is "trying hard". It meant die trying. While I am really trying to push myself, I can't help but hate this phase of my life.

Happiness generally comes from the ability to make yourself happy, some people go for holiday, some spend on food, others retail therapy. When you can't even treat yourself to something nice, once in awhile. That's PATHETIC !

As much "un"sane I really am now, there's only a few things that kept me sane...

1. Yeeun
2. Yeparkies
3. You

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what a start to a week...

FYI I have to OT on the eve of a public holiday, work on a public holiday and work on the saturday after the public holiday. This is seriously..

WHAT
THE
FUCKING
FUCK !!

2010-05-21T00:00:00.002+08:00

a friend once said, you know, when I'm going to work, everyone is heading home. BUT when I'm heading home, everyone's going to work! So he doesn't have any issues with the crowd while shopping or taking public transport.

This is me, "when I am going back to work, everyone's heading home, when I'm heading home, everyone's probably asleep"

when i went off today, there's not a single soul left at office

========

It's the first time I am so angry with you ya know? Do you have the slightest idea how much effort i put in just ...

Anyway, like what most people said, if you want to, don't expect any return...

And then we try to act as if nothings happen... sigh ~

Everyone loves SJ!

2010-05-17T21:05:00.002+08:00

SJ finally left the city and moved into the suburb. Though the suburb isn't as big or spacious as the city, he loved it. The peace and joy of being alone...

I've moved to a new seat, just like when I was in StarHub, it's just those corners where all the interns and temps seat together~ The uncool, unhip arena, but I love it!

Sigh, everyone's calling my name and asking me to do stuff. They are expecting me to complete them promptly, correctly and with superb quality. I can do that, I'm trained, well drill in such jobs, but they aren't paying me the right amount, still I will just do more than the minimum for them. *Sigh* should have just tender and go back to being a Greenie ! I <3 StarHub

Impossible tasks ahead tomorrow. I'll head home late, go for a swim and head off to bed. Yeah, that's the plan. Saturday will be my debut for Mavericks, Sunday swim again and the following week I'm so gonna start badminton with Meng!

Life without school... ROCKED!

2010-05-14T01:58:00.004+08:00

13th May 2010

Is a self declare Self Reflection Day ! It's 2:03am so I'll blog later

===============================================

Sunday, 16th May 2010

On 12th of May, I died. I gave up on my final paper. I just could not absorb any further, I need a days break, or 2 days if possible, to rest and to remain sane.

All the way back to 2009, when people told me working and studying is going to be tough, I mere smile and said that it'll be a good condition to see what I am made of.

Pressure, distractions, laziness got the better part of me. I flagged and lost. I literally wanted to just skip the people and well stay home. I slept at 12am and woke up at 10am. That's longer than the past 3days of sleep combined...

-----

Thank you Zennie, Kai Kiat, Sebest, Zhenqi, Janice, Jasmine & Xandra for the support. These people are my classmates, everyone were very helpful and nice, especially Kai Kiat & Jas. Upon knowing that i'm about to give up or rather I gave up, they told me to head down to expo at 9am and they'll teach me how to do it... guess if you don't even want to help yourself, no one could.

I did what i can with the remaining time and hoped for a miracle.

-----

Looking at the past 2 years of constant working and studying, I did a Diploma in Investment with SHRI, then I was serving at the Ministry of Home Affairs, work was rather mundane and not that taxing. I breezed through the diploma with a merit.

Right now, life in OCBC hasn't been the best, I don't know why I come home so tired and drain every single day. Beginning to...

i don't know how or what to write anymore, it can only be felt.

2010-05-10T02:49:00.002+08:00

I've worked so hard, but still not hard enough, but if I were to work that hard, I would lose myself. When you look at life in general, you look for that spark, or motivation to set you running at that blistering pace. Right now, I've not seen that spark, and all that endless flaw of acceleration only leads to influx of wasted gasoline right into the engine.

Where are you my spark?

I don't live to work, I work to live -Owen Wilson, You me & Dupree

Maiden Uni Paper

2010-05-05T02:41:00.003+08:00

Finally 6hours plus, to my first ever University paper! First up, Principle of Accounts, my favourite module for my entire semester. Lecturer Mr Mok Tian Soon has tonnes of jokes, some are funny some are cold, to keep the lesson light, fun and relax!

Singapore Expo Hall 4. Can you effing believe it? Exams at a hall, an EXHIBITION HALL!!!

Anyway I gotta go sleep, for real! First paper, hope I'll do well and boost my morale for the remaining papers~

I'm lying if I said I don't want to score, but I'll be a liar if I said I'll get an A. So I'll be happy with a B~ hahahahha

2010-05-02T14:39:00.004+08:00

Food poisoning + flu bug got me a week ago. Just cleared up my room so I wouldn't have a hard time breathing. Boys be boys, the dust and stains aha, spent a good 2 hours clearing up and still it's only half done!

Wallpaper not updated though aha

Citypulse DA2.03e USB DAC $680.00 my proudest piece

Anyway screw the heavens or depths of hell for not helping me, instead sabotaging me, making my path steeper and bumpier but I'll not fall for all these petty useless tricks of yours. Be it god or lucifer, I'll kick you back to the 19th depths of hell which you've yet discover or the heights of heaven where the sun will burn your white pure soul into clouds. Shame on you idiots...

Back to my battle for that far away As, I lost too much time.

====

Been awhile since I felt a little closer to you.

I missed you

I thought I've finally been able to keep you away for this period but I'm wrong, I still do.

I'm glad we're meeting soon ...

2010-04-29T13:28:00.003+08:00

I hate you some times, but most of the time I hate you because I felt useless, helpless to be of any use to you. You've been someone whom I always look up to, my idol...

==========

Diarrhea ... very xing ku ah, I'm dying... @ work.

Mediocre

2010-04-25T14:43:00.002+08:00

I just want to be a ninja because this is fun, I just want to get married to a not pretty yet not ugly wife, 2 kids, a girl and a boy, retire when my daughter gets married and my son gets a job and go back to playing shogi -shikamaru (before he ambushed 8 sand ninjas)

I just want to be in the finance industry so that I can earn slightly more money, get married to a not pretty but not ugly wife, with 2 kids, a girl and a boy, retire when both of them are married and go back to doing what I like best, sipping tea watching dvds, fishing, doodling with stereo or my car...

-Shi Jie

Mediocre: of moderate or low quality, value, ability, or performance : ordinary, so-so

My trainer said "So you will end up being Mediocre". What's wrong with being mediocre? Is it because of Singapore or is it the same everywhere else?

2010-04-25T14:15:00.002+08:00

While caking, someone pop right into my head. Anyway, my top strength is:
1. Ideation: loves associating and providing ideas
2. Command: leadership, loves to put his ideas through
3. Futurist: star-trek
4. Individualisation: view individual base on strength weakness, not stereotyping
5. Learner: keen to learn
In short, I'm a futuristic creative open commander! Sounds awesome eh? Strength Finder 2.0 is a book that only concentrate on strengths ($39.00) zero about weaknesses so all you hear are good stuff.

=======
Individualisation
Anyway back to my caking session. Mr Ibrahim, came to my mind. He was quite a good looking Indian back in my primary school days. I've always tried to protect him though I admit to join in bullying him once in a while. Sometimes he'd come to me "begging" to help him or lend him money with his hands in "praying mode". I took pity of him ever since he did that once and when he told me "All i got is 40cents a day and they stole my wallet ..." He was absolutely frustrated and helpless. All I get was $1.00 a day so I gave him 50cents that day.

Since then, he'd always wave goodbye to me when the school bus leaves, told his mum about me. His mum is a nurse. I never knew him on a very personal level and I really want to know how is he now... He left school somewhere towards the end of Primary 2.

Mr Khairul Anwar. We both lived at Holland, he's a very playful and irritating Malay boy. He pushed my head against the metal panel in the school bus and got a scare from my mum. I didn't make a big fuss about it but my mum did. What he received from me was way worst.

I was the apple in my teachers' eye, I suck up and stand out very well when young, early bloomer (but i stop growing at a very tender age). The class adores me so I misused my power to pick on some young punks like Khairul. He's nice, but irritating. So I'd boycott with the other malay boys to not let him play soccer with us, they used to boycott against me but when I was the class monitor, everything change.

Want to see how good a men is, give him power and money. I wasn't a good man, but consider the level of maturity then and age; I'd still think I'd be the same now. Everyone grow with experience.

One day, his pencil case was thrown out of the class because he was playing with it. He was pissed and I still disturb him, he blew up and I threaten to ya you know, tell teacher about what he did blablabla. He went "sorry lar, I'm very angry now, that's my new pencil case and I can't find most of my stuff" not the exact words but somewhere along the line. Of course being me, I didn't misuse that authority, helped him out later to find his stuff...

Mr Gurunathan. Idiot, we used to tease him together "Gurunathan is a pig Gurunathan is a pig" he's really fat then, not now. Last saw him when I was 15 or 16? He's already a punk around Pei Tong Primary area, with a few followers with him. Wonder did he end up in jail yet? Quite a skillful soccer player, we see eye to eye as to how soccer is to be played, beautiful yet with teamwork.

I'm an emoticon, 90% driven by emotions and passion 10% using my head. That was why I've changed from power hungry to a more empathy person? Karma has its way of getting back at me, being fat now, always being tease and all.

It's not that I like being tease, who doesn't like to be praised but well as long as everyone is happy and my values and pride isn't intimidated, I'm fine. Or more like I love being underrated? I've been called ah pui to flower to peter and about everything else... not that i really like them but...

As long as I'm not intimidated or triggered i'm still that funny ,crazy, stupid, uncool, tak-glam shijie most of you know. Being angry or proving your worth is tiring, so I've became lazy and boring aha.!

2010-04-25T05:30:00.003+08:00

I couldn't sleep, algorithm of my life came into life! I finally realized what is the algorithm. Bad news is that, is this my limit?

I also found my source of strength, as usual, I know but it ...

So this is my maximum capability, so this is who am I and what I'm made off? Pathetic!

2010-04-23T22:17:00.004+08:00

No longer ranting on veggie world anymore, I don't want you nice people to start worry bout unnecessary stuff. Everyone has their own issues and problems, I've been ranting for so quite sometime already, really appreciate all your solutions, C&Cs and TLCs !

Things have gotten out of hand, out of my hands. It's no longer within my powers, it has never been. I'm out of wits, out of energy, out of sync, out of laughter, out of joy... Helpless at what is going on and what will be happening next... So what's next?

I'm losing grip... really so sick and tired of life, so tired of living each day, taking things one step at a time, paychecks after paychecks. I see nothing, except how far am I from my target, my dreams my on self-worth. I lost myself, I lost my pride, I lost my faith, I lost... Souless, lifeless, heartless.

Life gets tougher, toughen life...

I finally told you I miss you, do you know =P

=====

Today I've had a bad appetite day. Everything just didn't taste right, EVERYTHING ! Tsk tsk~ I wanted to get bubble tea so I rang Jamie up and got it for the team as well, except myself. B'cuz I thought if I needed something stronger, I'd go for Mango Soursop fruitey juice ! But it cost as much as my lunch. So I went back empty handed for myself.

Funny thing is, I paid $5.80 for it and received $7, sigh ~ These adults just love throwing money. Why not just give me the cash?

Linda came back and got me the legendary CHEEZE BUN !!! That's about the only food that tasted alright today.

Do boys have monthly issues too? I always wonder was I a he/she and my parents picked me to be He instead.? I do not like boys, for the record ~

2010-04-23T13:26:00.002+08:00

i need some money money money ~ I've been eying for a new mediaplayer, earphones, amplifier, headphone amplifier, pc and speakers. Also new clothing for work, shoes, tie and a belt. Also...

life's getting so tough and depressing, endless mugging sessions and nothing actually much to look forward to. Living paycheck after paychecks.

Looking back, 3years ago I was way better off than I am now. So people often ask how much you can or have achieved. I went backwords. On slutsky or hicks theory, I'm definitely worst off at T0 comapred to T3 which is now.

So so so so so...

2010-04-19T12:51:00.003+08:00

Able to blog again.

I had a weirdest of dreams recently. 1st freddie woke me up asking me about the livechat at 8am. Then I went straight back to sleep, dreamt about the livechat and woke up. Was 15minutes late but the girls were late too so I was lucky!

Went back to sleep after the chat and dreamt about Khim ~ I don't know why, her twitter display picture just came out and we're asking her something "funny" ahaha, I'm sorry I can't disclose that

And this morning, I woke up because yeeun told me to. I basically said ok, picked myself out of bed and went to the showers. Only to realize that it was a dream. She was in her EXR outfit though, could barely recall what she said, only remembered how she looked like. Imagine if I pounced and tried to hug her, I might just end up on my desk looking like an idiot.

Bottom left corner ~ that was her, when she woke me up.

2010-04-15T22:07:00.001+08:00

Blogging is something like photography? Capture the moment.

Photography captures that picture while blogging captures the initial think process. I tend to have many thoughts on the go and it'd be great if I could blog on the spot. I attempted carrying a notepad with me which totally didn't work ~ Sigh...

I clearly need a HTC Smart ! It retails at $380 if I didn't read it wrongly on the papers!

2010-04-11T20:36:00.002+08:00

Recently I picked up a really bad habit. I started feasting at every opportunity, I don't chew, I basically just swallow my food down, by the huge chunk...

It's really bad because you tend to over eat and get so fat. I'm already feeling it, sigh. Bla Bla Bla Bla

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Friday was the first time I bought so much sweets ahaha!! Too lazy to upload the pics. I thought I took quite a bit, but it doesn't seem to be a lot yet they weigh really heavy ahahaha. Off you go soon, be the strength and motivation of someone in need. Fulfill your destiny *boomz* ! ahahaha

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I didn't just found out, I already knew. But I simply cannot stand such people. People who are only concern about academic achievement, and people who blatantly just want to get the correct answer instead of grasping the concept to achieving the results.

I ain't a very helpful person actually. I'm really selective to whom I would really help and I'd then wholeheartedly help you, else I'd pretend to be dumb and just sneak away. Precisely the point the way I take notes, can only be understood by yours truly.

And about those smarty pants, i, from the bottom of my heart, sincerely pray that you will get your god-liked results, head off to the society, and become a social-misfit, struggle to cope with the surroundings and people, grasping for help and praying for a helping hand which will never ever come; at least not mine ~

Sigh, I really just dislike academic incline students, but you aren't even academic incline. You're in SIM for crying out loud, you couldn't make it to local uni, what the fuck man. Effing Loser™ credit malena LOL!

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School resumes tomorrow 12th April 2010. As of now, I've only 20 days to study... tsk³ pretty intense!

2010-04-09T23:44:00.001+08:00

i lost my motivation.

to blog
to fight
to persevere

what

are

we

honestly

fighting

for?

Full but hungry

2010-04-09T13:26:00.002+08:00

I had a full packet of rice with 2 vege sides, 2 meat sides and 1 tofu side. Ravish the pack like mal-nourished china coal miner stucked underneath for ages. 5 minutes later, I'm hungry, but full.

You people do get that sometimes right? It's call greed or sweet tooth! The item you're craving for is called COMFORT FOOD!

Sotong ballz, Squidhead, Nuggets...

Burrpppp ~ and now a simple milk tea from Mos Burger would be suffice.

I'm going to be just as fat and lonely like Amos. Nah ~ he's a prick!