Manage to start off the first day with full ticks on my "MUST DO LIST". The year did not start off any easier with school today. Maintaining the "healthy lifestyle" balance just got tougher with barely 6hrs of sleep daily thanks to long traveling hours, demanding subjects as well as fatigue, well what can I say, life's gets tougher, toughen life.
I've been thinking about what a lot of people or rather my guardians, angels and mentors have said and for the past month or so I guess I've seen the light in what they say one way or another.
Eliz said that I was no longer a boi boi and I've matured, or rather put it in simple terms, I just got older it's just that she has always been nice and kind to me. Old is the word I tried to convince them I had become. No longer able to sustain the 48hrs without sleep nor late nights gaming and even fishing has started to deteriote my health if I do not get enough rest. Of course I was bombarded with roars and screams about a 22year old whinning about being old...
I laid out my lifeplan and well they've come to a consensus agreement that because of the early marriage that I wanted, only that I've become overly stressed, over demanding and being unrealistic to be crude. I refuse to put strong comments over it but hey, put it simply, for now if I met a girl who is 21 - 23yrs old, a classmate or someone at work. I'd only grad when I'm 26 and for the better part she may be 25 or 27 which is the age girls would fancy to get married. I've just started my career for Christ sake and well there are plenty of guys who are already in the groove from 27 - 30 and what makes you all think I'd be at a advantage. Love? haha in Singapore that's well 50%, the other 50% is about sustainability.
Of course they'd say I've lost faith in girls or I'm just stereotypical but being an Analyst (or rather Analyst to be =x) I'm just putting common sense or pratical points into practice. Nichole got married at 24, Sharon 26, Eugenia about there hmmm who else? There are gurls who obviously would choose love over Pradas and Guccis or even not eat Drumstick chicken rice for instance, just to be with their love ones, I waiting for that kind of girl but I'd ... nevermind.
Get my point? It isn't everyday that I wake up wanting more and wanting to be up there or being unrealistic. It has come to a point where failure is no longer and option and I am definitely no stranger to failure
P1 - 2nd in the whole Sch 290/300
P4 - my loving teacher or "father" said "Shijie you've gotten from good to bad and bad to worst you will become"
P6 - 14th in the whole Sch 238/300
Sec 1 - Best Express Class
Sec 4 - Lousiest Express Class
Olevels - Eng D7, Chi B3, Emath B3, Humans C6, Bio D7, Sci A2 Total:28
Poly 1 2nd in Class
Poly 3 3rd in Class from the back
I used to mok at people who ask questions & get top in class or aims for As. I only aim for As because I wanna prove "slack n succeed" theory which is definitely not within me.
It is only when there is something out there that you see and you want it and you want it so badly that I've started to realize what I was studying or working for is truly fruitful and yes you will die for that. ( yes mums & dads & teachers nagging about how ur results would determine your future) but there are fucks and cock heads who have paper and aren't workers, this is build up by our flawed education system which I've highlighted and got me 2nd Prize.
Back to the early marriage and finally getting started with the final destinations. I'm already 1yr late (Poly instead of JC) + another yr thanks to the efficient CMPB + another year trying on my Dip in Investment which means I'm 3yrs too late compare to those Humans in lane 1. Yes I'm frustrated with what I've done in the pass and I am confessing it now but I do not deny at that point of time only those things matters:
1) Counter-Strike: it is something no 1 would ever understand and that no words can ever be used to describe the amount of grief, sadness & humiliation of failing to complete the simple task I've for myself and that to let others look down upon and proved themselves right; To be used as a life example of gaming failure.
2) Girlfriend: No regrets, it is part of growing up that I've learn a lot... + the hugs and kisses oh gawd~!~ =X
3) Have FUN!: It was from there that I knew a hell lot of people, life skills, PR that get me thus far with lots of people
StarHub was a the U turn in my life, thanks to my ex (I hate to admit that she was and I still hate her or rather detest her but nothing personal haha) for missing out this opportunity so that I can be selected for this job. Meeting Lydia for the 1st time never seem easier, I never wore formal attire for any crap and so did I for this, Jeans while seated only showing a nice Ralph Lauren top neatly ironed, she was a manager and I've never met someone of that stature(did I use it correctly) foramlly too. Born with the tongue of a "Complete liar", able to twist and manifest details into facts and I often strive with mounting pressure that I manage to pull it off even with vocabs coming from her that I did not understand.
So much thanks for showing me the world out there by the team and people and colleagues and bosses. The scoldings and sayangs and grooming will never be forgotten as no matter how small it maybe to all of you it is as important as water in the desert to a surviving man to be forever
So much for facts and myself, I've just have to continue to prove my worth with the demanding environment and hopefully I'd be in Societe Generale intern with Caron then, that would be the initial step. She is 1 hellava strong siao cha bor which sort of build fear into me of being afraid to fail even under her guidance(Failure is a word that rarely comes out from my mouth, just ask my parents). The next 3 years would be even harder as working full time while doing part-time degree, aiming for 1st class of course, highly impossible but hey, it is in times like these that true MAN & HEROES are born. Never know where I'll be able to go till I push myself to my limit; "Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We are all meant to shine, as children do"
Some of the phrases from books and movies to keep my "bubble" alive. The fear of failure is the burden of success itself but only to understand failure will you be able to truly go the distance with the best there is...
It is merely to all those out there who has been said no to, it is impossible, you cannot do it, it can't be done, for christ sake you? That don't ever let anyone deprive yourself of what you want to be or rather what you CAN be. You reap what you sough(fuck i 4gotten the spelling) so stick up firm for youself, do what you must and can and reach out for the stars... may you all suceed and me too.
Casualty report : June 09 Dip results out
End Yr Report : Dec 09 ORD LO!
I've been thinking about what a lot of people or rather my guardians, angels and mentors have said and for the past month or so I guess I've seen the light in what they say one way or another.
Eliz said that I was no longer a boi boi and I've matured, or rather put it in simple terms, I just got older it's just that she has always been nice and kind to me. Old is the word I tried to convince them I had become. No longer able to sustain the 48hrs without sleep nor late nights gaming and even fishing has started to deteriote my health if I do not get enough rest. Of course I was bombarded with roars and screams about a 22year old whinning about being old...
I laid out my lifeplan and well they've come to a consensus agreement that because of the early marriage that I wanted, only that I've become overly stressed, over demanding and being unrealistic to be crude. I refuse to put strong comments over it but hey, put it simply, for now if I met a girl who is 21 - 23yrs old, a classmate or someone at work. I'd only grad when I'm 26 and for the better part she may be 25 or 27 which is the age girls would fancy to get married. I've just started my career for Christ sake and well there are plenty of guys who are already in the groove from 27 - 30 and what makes you all think I'd be at a advantage. Love? haha in Singapore that's well 50%, the other 50% is about sustainability.
Of course they'd say I've lost faith in girls or I'm just stereotypical but being an Analyst (or rather Analyst to be =x) I'm just putting common sense or pratical points into practice. Nichole got married at 24, Sharon 26, Eugenia about there hmmm who else? There are gurls who obviously would choose love over Pradas and Guccis or even not eat Drumstick chicken rice for instance, just to be with their love ones, I waiting for that kind of girl but I'd ... nevermind.
Get my point? It isn't everyday that I wake up wanting more and wanting to be up there or being unrealistic. It has come to a point where failure is no longer and option and I am definitely no stranger to failure
P1 - 2nd in the whole Sch 290/300
P4 - my loving teacher or "father" said "Shijie you've gotten from good to bad and bad to worst you will become"
P6 - 14th in the whole Sch 238/300
Sec 1 - Best Express Class
Sec 4 - Lousiest Express Class
Olevels - Eng D7, Chi B3, Emath B3, Humans C6, Bio D7, Sci A2 Total:28
Poly 1 2nd in Class
Poly 3 3rd in Class from the back
I used to mok at people who ask questions & get top in class or aims for As. I only aim for As because I wanna prove "slack n succeed" theory which is definitely not within me.
It is only when there is something out there that you see and you want it and you want it so badly that I've started to realize what I was studying or working for is truly fruitful and yes you will die for that. ( yes mums & dads & teachers nagging about how ur results would determine your future) but there are fucks and cock heads who have paper and aren't workers, this is build up by our flawed education system which I've highlighted and got me 2nd Prize.
Back to the early marriage and finally getting started with the final destinations. I'm already 1yr late (Poly instead of JC) + another yr thanks to the efficient CMPB + another year trying on my Dip in Investment which means I'm 3yrs too late compare to those Humans in lane 1. Yes I'm frustrated with what I've done in the pass and I am confessing it now but I do not deny at that point of time only those things matters:
1) Counter-Strike: it is something no 1 would ever understand and that no words can ever be used to describe the amount of grief, sadness & humiliation of failing to complete the simple task I've for myself and that to let others look down upon and proved themselves right; To be used as a life example of gaming failure.
2) Girlfriend: No regrets, it is part of growing up that I've learn a lot... + the hugs and kisses oh gawd~!~ =X
3) Have FUN!: It was from there that I knew a hell lot of people, life skills, PR that get me thus far with lots of people
StarHub was a the U turn in my life, thanks to my ex (I hate to admit that she was and I still hate her or rather detest her but nothing personal haha) for missing out this opportunity so that I can be selected for this job. Meeting Lydia for the 1st time never seem easier, I never wore formal attire for any crap and so did I for this, Jeans while seated only showing a nice Ralph Lauren top neatly ironed, she was a manager and I've never met someone of that stature(did I use it correctly) foramlly too. Born with the tongue of a "Complete liar", able to twist and manifest details into facts and I often strive with mounting pressure that I manage to pull it off even with vocabs coming from her that I did not understand.
So much thanks for showing me the world out there by the team and people and colleagues and bosses. The scoldings and sayangs and grooming will never be forgotten as no matter how small it maybe to all of you it is as important as water in the desert to a surviving man to be forever
So much for facts and myself, I've just have to continue to prove my worth with the demanding environment and hopefully I'd be in Societe Generale intern with Caron then, that would be the initial step. She is 1 hellava strong siao cha bor which sort of build fear into me of being afraid to fail even under her guidance(Failure is a word that rarely comes out from my mouth, just ask my parents). The next 3 years would be even harder as working full time while doing part-time degree, aiming for 1st class of course, highly impossible but hey, it is in times like these that true MAN & HEROES are born. Never know where I'll be able to go till I push myself to my limit; "Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We are all meant to shine, as children do"
Some of the phrases from books and movies to keep my "bubble" alive. The fear of failure is the burden of success itself but only to understand failure will you be able to truly go the distance with the best there is...
It is merely to all those out there who has been said no to, it is impossible, you cannot do it, it can't be done, for christ sake you? That don't ever let anyone deprive yourself of what you want to be or rather what you CAN be. You reap what you sough(fuck i 4gotten the spelling) so stick up firm for youself, do what you must and can and reach out for the stars... may you all suceed and me too.
Casualty report : June 09 Dip results out
End Yr Report : Dec 09 ORD LO!
Comments