EIJIHS - ®

Disenchanted ...

I've got a shitty score for my assignment, it has no effect on my final scores but it simply reflects upon my standard. I was totally utterly blown away by the astounding red ink indicated on the top right corner of my paper. Hands were on my head wondering why, I went through the paper umpteen times trying to spot any errors but to my horror, the faults are all mine...

She came, in the nicest outfit I've ever seen her dress in for close to 6weeks? Still I couldn't care less, she murmured that I was odd today, i merely smile and gave a brief reply. I'm still not over it, I just couldn't say it out, I HATE LOSING, I HATE NOT DOING WELL, I HATE BEING AVERAGE and i certainly hate feeling I'm good enough when I'm absolutely not!

Things got slightly better during break, we still had a quick ample conversation, my mind was blank, even now, though I've tonnes of questions to ask but I just kept answering...

Form was totally off today, I can't do almost any questions asked today. There's a quick test near the end of the lecture, I took a quick glance @ the paper and I knew I'd probably @ best pass it? Still i attempted the few questions BUT I just don't feel right somehow. Wasn't feeling ok right before class already + the results and mental block, I just want to get the fug outta here? Things got worst when my dad text me that he's over @ SIM, I packed my stuff and left, without saying anything b'cuz I thought she'd might want to concentrate.

As I step out of the class, I began to regret, I begin to wonder what would happen if I stayed, those few minutes were time I cherished most and that I knew I had only 2 more weeks I still left? What was I thinking... AND she was so darn well dressed today...

The point is, I need to get myself together and freaking get my grades up before I think I'm worthy to help? Not that I think I'm smart but probably that's the only possible way we could meet in future? Of course for my own grades too lar...

I'm an utter idiot?

Thank god, FB's fortune cookie said "You have the power to change your own fortune"

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