Just got home at 11:30pm, it's Tuesday, tomorrow's Wednesday and I have to work. My job demands me to be 100% focus, I'm a high paying data entry clerk, my responsibilities include timely and accurate entries of datas for regulatory/internal audit purpose.
Recently I've found out I've sleep apnea, in simple terms; sleep disorder. Usually caused by blockage of air-passage way, hence my quality of sleep is often low. Hence, I need to be in bed by 10pm, and I still feel sleepy at work.
Sleep apnea aisde, the gist about this entry is - Friends.
Friend: a favoured companion
Companion: one that keeps company with another
===========================
I am definitely not the best friend to have, I'll admit to that, I'm there but not there too, that's what most of my friends would say. It's quite sad to hear actually, I know it's normal to have expectations of friends, I do have them for most of my closer friends, else I can't be bothered.
Thing is, my time management skills kinda suck, with my sleep apnea and my current demanding work conditions, I am unable to spare most of my time, needless to say with school starting.
As people grow up, there are more of such responsibilities and expectations to fulfill. I know the way I am putting this across seem harsh and inhumane at best. I've always tried to "reason" things from it's raw-est form, neglecting emotions and looking at things from a much transparent perspective?
Anyway, I can say that I'm one lucky fucker, to have friends by my side all if not most of the time, I try to minimum give them back how much effort they put into our "relationship". Growing up, people would have your usual "hang-out" friends to your mentors and your soul-buddies, these are people who . . .
.
.
.
All i'm trying to say is, BALANCE, i've said it time and again to attain the absolute balance in life, is the hardest. As much as I want to spend time with my parents, grandparents, relatives etc.
When I was young, my dad was busy putting gold bars on the table, not food, he work his ass off so that I can live a life of a prince, barely see him at dinners, even when we are at the table, he's never there, his phone is always ringing and he's busy making money and making people look up to him. Now that we finally can have more time together to hang out, I really want to make good use of the time.
My grandpa passed away less than a year ago, right before I had my breakthrough with my "career" and had time and money to spare, he left, just like that, without letting me spend the remaining time with him. All i could do is make up for lost time with my remaining grandparents.
I've an uncle, also my god-father, he yearns for a son yet had 3 daughters, his daughters barely cares about him because of his "ill repute past", I'd like to spend time with him because ...
I've my god-mom ~ she's a lesbian, so I've 2 god mothers, i met her back when I first held a full time job, she taught me everything there is to know in my job, from dealing with people, to my bosses, the company's culture to even right now how life is. Whatever i need, I just had to ask, we had dinner last week and she knew I crave for pasta so she's inviting me over this weekend, again. I really want to do something for her or them, not just with money.
And then there are my friends, I'm really sorry if I've yet to be up to par, I'm trying. But I'm only human, please TRY to understand :(
Don't find time, make time....
I know, sometimes I'd just want a couple of hours for myself, to do things I want to do, be it a simple blog entry, a simple dvd, watching a game, reading a book or just lying there doing nothing. Life is tough, in Singapore I say... there's always Tokyo, Seoul, New York and Hong Kong to tell me what's really tough about life.
I guess i was wrong, growing up is something I should've never yearn for >_<
The usual, "be careful what you wished for =P"
I'm sorry to those who felt left out or that I'm always not there, I'm trying, for realz
Recently I've found out I've sleep apnea, in simple terms; sleep disorder. Usually caused by blockage of air-passage way, hence my quality of sleep is often low. Hence, I need to be in bed by 10pm, and I still feel sleepy at work.
Sleep apnea aisde, the gist about this entry is - Friends.
Friend: a favoured companion
Companion: one that keeps company with another
===========================
I am definitely not the best friend to have, I'll admit to that, I'm there but not there too, that's what most of my friends would say. It's quite sad to hear actually, I know it's normal to have expectations of friends, I do have them for most of my closer friends, else I can't be bothered.
Thing is, my time management skills kinda suck, with my sleep apnea and my current demanding work conditions, I am unable to spare most of my time, needless to say with school starting.
As people grow up, there are more of such responsibilities and expectations to fulfill. I know the way I am putting this across seem harsh and inhumane at best. I've always tried to "reason" things from it's raw-est form, neglecting emotions and looking at things from a much transparent perspective?
Anyway, I can say that I'm one lucky fucker, to have friends by my side all if not most of the time, I try to minimum give them back how much effort they put into our "relationship". Growing up, people would have your usual "hang-out" friends to your mentors and your soul-buddies, these are people who . . .
.
.
.
All i'm trying to say is, BALANCE, i've said it time and again to attain the absolute balance in life, is the hardest. As much as I want to spend time with my parents, grandparents, relatives etc.
When I was young, my dad was busy putting gold bars on the table, not food, he work his ass off so that I can live a life of a prince, barely see him at dinners, even when we are at the table, he's never there, his phone is always ringing and he's busy making money and making people look up to him. Now that we finally can have more time together to hang out, I really want to make good use of the time.
My grandpa passed away less than a year ago, right before I had my breakthrough with my "career" and had time and money to spare, he left, just like that, without letting me spend the remaining time with him. All i could do is make up for lost time with my remaining grandparents.
I've an uncle, also my god-father, he yearns for a son yet had 3 daughters, his daughters barely cares about him because of his "ill repute past", I'd like to spend time with him because ...
I've my god-mom ~ she's a lesbian, so I've 2 god mothers, i met her back when I first held a full time job, she taught me everything there is to know in my job, from dealing with people, to my bosses, the company's culture to even right now how life is. Whatever i need, I just had to ask, we had dinner last week and she knew I crave for pasta so she's inviting me over this weekend, again. I really want to do something for her or them, not just with money.
And then there are my friends, I'm really sorry if I've yet to be up to par, I'm trying. But I'm only human, please TRY to understand :(
Don't find time, make time....
I know, sometimes I'd just want a couple of hours for myself, to do things I want to do, be it a simple blog entry, a simple dvd, watching a game, reading a book or just lying there doing nothing. Life is tough, in Singapore I say... there's always Tokyo, Seoul, New York and Hong Kong to tell me what's really tough about life.
I guess i was wrong, growing up is something I should've never yearn for >_<
The usual, "be careful what you wished for =P"
I'm sorry to those who felt left out or that I'm always not there, I'm trying, for realz
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