Going into 30 years old, 1st quarter of 2016 has past, I'm suppose to begin the years of my prime...
The earlier parts of my youth, i tried to become a leader at a very young age, adore the attention, praise and power it comes with, I work relentlessly to please just about everyone. The latter parts of my teen, I continue to build on that and wanted to be ahead of the competition, first to graduate, graduate with higher honest, get a higher paying job...
Then luck ran out, I ran out of gas too.
Life began.
I was happy being 2nd, 3rd, 4th or even last, I was the complete opposite kid I used to be. I want to be out of the picture, be the odd guy that sits in his corner, doesn't stand out one tiny bit at all. I was truly happy to sit back because I wasn't needed or I did not need to be involved.
3 years later, I became rather integral part of the team, not the engine of the car, but somewhat like that inter-cooler that enables the car to run at full throttle without getting over-heated. Yet the car continues to breakdown because we literally put diesel into our tank, sped off with worn out tires, replace coolant with water and running on 2 cylinders instead of 6.
I began to feel frustrated again, I hate this constant "break-down", the car was barely running and constantly breaking down.
Should i step up?
Should i move to another ride?
Should i?
I guess why I adore Ivan Sim amongst so many peers, no doubt I'm disgusted by some of his ethics but he's way better than most. One of the brightest definitely, positive, adaptable to changes, unlike the rest.
I really detest leeches
If you ain't smarter than me then stop trying to out talk be using your rank, your certificates, your experience.
That's been what's fuming within me for the longest time. I'm in an inept team. I'm still there because they took the leap of faith to hire me when no one else would, yet I believe I've already paid my dues, going into my 5th year with the same team, I think I already paid for all that I owe including interest.
So what's next?
Seriously?
I don't know.
Should i clean up the mess and pick up the pieces and help to guide this useless rusty car to it's formal glory even though I will never be credited with the tiniest pit of gratitude which I've tried and failed so many times in the past that I just fail to try again.
I love writing in the most extreme sadist manner to express my utter discontent with life at the epitome of resentment.
Because we all need to feel, every bit of emotion in order to live, happy or sad.
So i know nothing after all.
The earlier parts of my youth, i tried to become a leader at a very young age, adore the attention, praise and power it comes with, I work relentlessly to please just about everyone. The latter parts of my teen, I continue to build on that and wanted to be ahead of the competition, first to graduate, graduate with higher honest, get a higher paying job...
Then luck ran out, I ran out of gas too.
Life began.
I was happy being 2nd, 3rd, 4th or even last, I was the complete opposite kid I used to be. I want to be out of the picture, be the odd guy that sits in his corner, doesn't stand out one tiny bit at all. I was truly happy to sit back because I wasn't needed or I did not need to be involved.
3 years later, I became rather integral part of the team, not the engine of the car, but somewhat like that inter-cooler that enables the car to run at full throttle without getting over-heated. Yet the car continues to breakdown because we literally put diesel into our tank, sped off with worn out tires, replace coolant with water and running on 2 cylinders instead of 6.
I began to feel frustrated again, I hate this constant "break-down", the car was barely running and constantly breaking down.
Should i step up?
Should i move to another ride?
Should i?
I guess why I adore Ivan Sim amongst so many peers, no doubt I'm disgusted by some of his ethics but he's way better than most. One of the brightest definitely, positive, adaptable to changes, unlike the rest.
I really detest leeches
If you ain't smarter than me then stop trying to out talk be using your rank, your certificates, your experience.
That's been what's fuming within me for the longest time. I'm in an inept team. I'm still there because they took the leap of faith to hire me when no one else would, yet I believe I've already paid my dues, going into my 5th year with the same team, I think I already paid for all that I owe including interest.
So what's next?
Seriously?
I don't know.
Should i clean up the mess and pick up the pieces and help to guide this useless rusty car to it's formal glory even though I will never be credited with the tiniest pit of gratitude which I've tried and failed so many times in the past that I just fail to try again.
I love writing in the most extreme sadist manner to express my utter discontent with life at the epitome of resentment.
Because we all need to feel, every bit of emotion in order to live, happy or sad.
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