Skip to main content

the past few days. . .

Was going away for 15 days, away from Singapore, away from the hustle and bustle, away from my illogical mind and one direction heart that sprints one way. 4.5hrs to Taiwan and then 14hrs 35mins to Toronto, I was there, midnight to my promise land, put on my pullover and I sat outside the airport and felt my lungs again.

Pat picked me up in the DC5 Type-S, often known as Acura Type-S in the Western Hemisphere while known as the Integra Type-R in Asia, one of the ride every street kid would die to have. We had some awesome food for supper, I had the worst in-flight meal with EVA, please never order their Chinese cuisine, totally inedible.


Chef Pat was at it again, English muffins with enormous portions of red cheddar and avocado topping off with mustard. Yes I am really back here, back to where I wanted to be.

On day 5, I had to break the news, news that I was leaving, in the most unorthodox manner. I borrowed Trace phone to call up EVA for the next available flight, I wasn't looking at them but I could guess how gobsmacked they are. I hung up upon confirming my departure and then I broke the news, my Grandma just past so I had to go.

Grandma fell the 1st morning I woke up in Toronto, that afternoon / late evening in Asia. No one knew how and why she past, she had brain hemorrhage, my parents couldn't explain to me if it was the fall or was it the main arteries that busted got her killed.

My dad chased me home, pressurized from my relatives that I may be the miracle they're all looking for but I honestly can't bring myself  there to watch her leave. I spoke to her thru my mom's phone, didn't really say much, just reminded her that I was in Canada, and that she don't have to wait for me if she needed to leave. She left 2 hrs later.



To be honest, I'm not the most favored grandchild, I am the eldest yes, but I live far apart from them, I barely see them much too. The most favored happened to be in China, trying to work on his marriage hampered by his future in law that Malaysia is too far for their daughter. I managed to get him on FB and he got back soonest the could too. A ridiculously hardworking, streetwise and mature kid, he's only 21 this year, his mindset as sensible and responsible or more so than myself. He managed to come back a day earlier but was not in time to see breathing the last time.

Truth be told, I don't think I'll be brave enough to see anyone leave. From being alive -> dead, I've never had...

Of course my late arrival caused much distressed for my parents, I had much to do in rituals being the eldest grandson of their eldest son. The whole village were dying to see me too for good and bad reasons. I missed the 1st ritual and they had problems settling my grandma's spirit back home and many pin that on me because it only work on the 3rd attempt and I wasn't there.

Some of her closest friends want to see who was the dood who often showers her with cash that she oftens brags to them to let her pay for their gatherings. A couple of years back, my grandma told me that she didn't had SGD with her so she was waiting for my aunt to wake up to take her to breakfast. It's not exactly my aunt's fault but I'd just have thought that you know... so from then on, I'll pass her some whenever, so that she can just do whatever she wants, buying food, cloths or taking cab which she will never do.

Her last trip to Aussieland was like a money pooling from her children, just recently I asked if she wants to go traveling again, she told me she was tired of walking and now her next favorite past time is ... Casino. She excels in roulette, and she has her stop loss strategy in place so I left it as it is. That generation has few past times, gambling one of the best sport. The last time i met her was some time in March, again i pass her a few notes when she was leaving but she rejected, I told her never to say no to money and be hush hush about the dough she has, that I was able, able enough so she do not have to worry about taking money from me. That's the last thing I ever did for her.

I've seen how lack of cash unsettle the older folks, they need at least that sense of security, yes it is their right to ask from their kids but It's really hard for them to.

For the record I don't really give her a lot of money but the exchange rate between SGD and MYR just made it seem a hell lot more.

On her final send off... everything was smooth and yeah, she left us. Still hasn't really sunk in yet. She was suppose to stay in my new place whenever she visits but she is no longer around... Well I did most of the stuff that I could, I'm not her only grandchild, she's needed by my cousins as well, while some use her to babysit her great grandchildren while they go overseas hahaha, others spent more time with her, simple meals, shopping etc. There could however be much more. . . for most if not all of us.

On her final words to me, not exactly final words, but her final thoughts or request to me as my grandma... Is to get married. It was the eve of lunar new year, at Kluang Mall, she suddenly held my arm and said, "You know, It's about time to find someone to date"


Well yes, If there's anything that I've not done up to expectations is this... Marriage. They often brag about how they will invite the whole village to my wedding, it was their pride and their joy to be able to attend in their life time, both didn't make it.

It's not really that I reject dating or I do not like girls, I just have not met the one that set my heart going one direction, and keep my mind so out of thoughts that all I could think about is her and yearn to spend every time with her and check my phone almost every minute if she text.

.
.
.

My aunt came and asked how I felt about often submitting a blank script; everyone's asking if I'm dating ahha. Yes I was quite embarrassed but at the same time I don't really want to commit to a lifetime of pain, and suffering, with the wrong partner. This is, till death do us apart for me as well, I never really think about divorce, what's the point of marriage then?

And my last words to my grandma's that she doesn't have to worry about us, her grandchildren, most of us are doing really well, we have 2 CPA accountants, 1 scholar and that even those 2 that are not degree holders are doing relatively well. And I will get married and marriage  has always been in my plans, so leave to where grandpa is and just watch over us.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Can't believe I actually took time to update and maintain our YEI Forum. Never knew I could be this crazy, but I know 1 thing for sure, it's never too late to start? But I'm really, growing too old for this. Ye Eun simply gorgeous! Credit: yeeun-impact.net / yeeun.wordpress.com And I blew up during dinner...
While caking, someone pop right into my head. Anyway, my top strength is: 1. Ideation: loves associating and providing ideas 2. Command: leadership, loves to put his ideas through 3. Futurist: star-trek 4. Individualisation: view individual base on strength weakness, not stereotyping 5. Learner: keen to learn In short, I'm a futuristic creative open commander! Sounds awesome eh? Strength Finder 2.0 is a book that only concentrate on strengths ($39.00) zero about weaknesses so all you hear are good stuff. ======= Individualisation Anyway back to my caking session. Mr Ibrahim, came to my mind. He was quite a good looking Indian back in my primary school days. I've always tried to protect him though I admit to join in bullying him once in a while. Sometimes he'd come to me "begging" to help him or lend him money with his hands in "praying mode". I took pity of him ever since he did that once and when he told me "All i got is 40cents a day and they sto

The Pioneer LX55 Bluray Player Review

Pioneer Corporations, once the leading company for Home Theatre Systems, Display and Optical players, began to falter when the likes of Samsung, LG, Sharp etc came into picture with lower end products for the mass consumer. Pioneer, who steer clear form the niche market, producing high end products, fell to it's knees, withdrawing from the TVs market and started a joint venture with Sharp, resulted in absolute catastrophe. Pioneer fanboys nicknamed the products "Sharpioneer" A bold direction, right or wrong, there's too much points to take, although myself would 200% standby their decision to continue with making highend products previously, even though they failed eventually. Anyhow, ever since that catastrophic "Sharpioneer" released, tons of consumers ditched their players within days of purchases, the management finally woke the FUCK UP. Director Product Planning and Marketing Pioneer USA, Chris Walker started visiting multiple online forums, gat