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Confession ...

i thought i did write out explicitly but I guess i wasn't ready to share then, though 1 post was fairly clear, it may still be just a memory...



I was attracted to some girl.

Yes the heart skipped many beats
The longing for a reply
Yearning for the next meet up
Wondering what you were doing
Slowly getting past that phase of obsessive lunacy
Getting a decent grasp of the real you
Ensuring the line's never crossed.
It's been 8 months. . .

And yes Merry Christmas.


The simplest lie that I caught on but unsuspecting, I mean it's just a simple gift right, simple packaging, could felt a box beneath it, I didn't even open it on my way home until...


Threw away the "decoy box", which was a box of the weighing scale, she has always laughed about my teen photos and I thought it was funny until I checked the contents.


The limited release 2016, Nintendo DS XL Pikachu Edition.


For starters, this set is hard to get, not all shops carry because of it's absurd price, a S$1xx more than regular sets, she also got me a matching cable, quality screen protector and  transparent case and finally the latest Pokemon Moon game.

I guess it all started because of this POST

I'm really shocked, surprised and thrilled but after I came back to earth, the total cost of this is equivalent to the entry level PS4. I couldn't pay her back because that'd mean the end, there's nothing I can get for her because we're similar in such a way that what we want, we already have, what we do not have it's simply because we cannot afford it.

So back to the iffy feelings and mysterious posts prior... It's been awhile since I last felt the urge to be in love and it's thru the weirdest manner we met. I'm not a exactly guy that you will appreciate right from the start, obviously she could tell that I was interested and that she told me right from the start to just be friends and I really gave it a lot of thought and agree that I'd just ensure that she'd be happy till she goes back home. WHY???

She's not open to be married here, her family are back in China, she's here to study and work and to earn the FX rate of 1:5 and get a headstart in life back home.

So the thing is even if she's ok to be married here, why would I want to let her be judge as 2nd best because I can't get someone local. Why do I want her to go thru these torrid experience when I jolly well know how it felt, I can handle it and I know how to handle it but doesn't mean she deserves to go thru all that. She like anyone else, a human of this earth born and cared by a mother inside her womb, so why should she be judged, criticized just because of her nationality? Assuming she does like me hahaha !



Which was why I've long considered this to be my unrequited love and that we'll just hang whenever we have time, chit chat and laugh over culture difference, her odd experience here and her ridiculous way of handling basic accounting until she will be gone in 2018 ish. Then I'll keep the fun memories in some remote corner of my brain and wish her all the best.

Well she said she merely wanna thank me for the help rendered because she was in a foreign land but . . . 

Anyways I don't know what's next or maybe I'm just over thinking... suppose to start back my jogging regime but here am I, 1:30am, still wide awake, in front of my computer. . .

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