We had a chat a few months before I left for Toronto, on expectations of us and then we decided it's quite impossible. It became fun or interesting because we've never actually met people from such different world and characters that we became interested with each other.
The reason we would never have "made it", on her point's mainly her spending habits, ex bf spends 100ks a day so even on her most reserved spending months would be beyond my salary. It'd really cooped her up to go back to being "normal". Her tempers were also fairly princessy though I've never seen it and she did insist that it took a lot for her to control herself.
**disclaimer, the only gift I've ever bought was a pair of sneakers. She has never really allow me to spend my money on her.
For me it's more of being from a very Asian Chinese family, the 3 aunties 6 grannies would be badmouthing my wife just because she's from China and I would definitely not sit still even though they are my elders. I'm a spoilt kid within the family, the eldest grandson and the favored grandchild in both families... so no one really dare or attempt to badmouth me, at least not in front of me. Which also made me have zero fear when speaking to elders on par with my mom and dads. My mom's a huge "face lover", having a china daughter in law would probably send her close to depression and if I were to go against my relatives and my mom, everything would go south... moreover she really wanna be back home in China, eventually.
Yesterday I sent her off, one last time to the airport, a hug and a peck on the forehead and the last goodbye.
Didn't have any photos together, I did not want to be probed, she didn't think was necessary, I thought we should for memories sake but she wouldn't allow it because it was the "fattest" I've ever seen her so she claimed.
She's pregnant, ain't my kid, I never sleep with someone that's not mine, did it twice, with the same girl, outcome was a "pathetic hollow disgusting regurgitate" self reflection. For some reasons she decided to go back to her ex-bf, she did tell me sometime in October and she's ok etc.
Anyways I was feeling very awkward and awry on Friday, didn't really complete my work and this carried throughout the weekend as though I sense something bad was coming... Then Monday came... BAM ! she told me she was going home for good, and she needs to visit the doctor and if I could go with her, I was bz at work but I could just take time off and then work from home but she insist that she'd be fine since I'm working and I left it there and then THOUGH it did came to mind that she may be pregnant. Anyways I don't really like to care much about someone else's bae cuz it's utter stupidity to be looking after someone's girl ain't it??
Asked her for dinner before she leave and that's when she broke the news, I helped her pack and move her stuff on Wednesday and only then did I know that the dood's already married. ?_?_?_?
dafuq??? I mean, I know women's weakness = love... but this is just. Of course I was angry like why do it right but it's already done and again it really ain't my problem.
Then came this realization that, why my dad and gp had taken that "route" to womanize etc is probably never about love or lust, it's purely power, addicted to power, slave to power. Men can't let their pride down and they need to feel that they are better than everyone else. I struggle to really comprehend the whole concept of being 2nd priority in someone's life, dood's probably great with his words or she's probably his number 1 but she didn't want to marry him and left for Singapore couple of months after they broke up or whichever. But fact remains, if you are rich and powerful, these are the absurd things that can happen in life, which men probably craves.
It did struck me for about 8secs like WOW, if only I was this rich . . . then again I was never this motivated, even by instances like this... let's assume we were seeing each other still, we were never together and this happen, she decides to go back to her ex, i'll probably just admit that I'm not good enough and move along. It's too much work to be rich at their level ~
After she landed, she thank me and told me to pls have a great life ahead. I can't help but wonder how much more fk up this world can be, or at least in her world. She once told me that her grandma kicked her and her brother out in the streets in winter because her parents didn't send money back home punctually. I was quite livid and didn't think much about it, he was quite pissed then hahahha. I did check with my mom some days later and WOW, in my mother's days, that's what happens. So should I be blessed that I've never had such encounter, cover my ears and eyes, ignorance is bliss?
She's not gonna tell her family because it would bring shame to the family and she doesn't wanna hear it from her parents that they wanna disown her and things like that. Reputation and Face probably meant more in Chinese families than anything else and again I fail to come to terms with that. If my kid was knocked up, I won't even say a thing, she just have to come HOME, she just have to take care of her health and we as parents will do the rest... ain't it suppose to be this way?
Mixed feelings over the past week, too heavy and too damn much to end the year with stuff like that. I'm just a grain of sand, in this whole wide world... I really have no clue what world do we live in and what to expect anymore.
The reason we would never have "made it", on her point's mainly her spending habits, ex bf spends 100ks a day so even on her most reserved spending months would be beyond my salary. It'd really cooped her up to go back to being "normal". Her tempers were also fairly princessy though I've never seen it and she did insist that it took a lot for her to control herself.
**disclaimer, the only gift I've ever bought was a pair of sneakers. She has never really allow me to spend my money on her.
For me it's more of being from a very Asian Chinese family, the 3 aunties 6 grannies would be badmouthing my wife just because she's from China and I would definitely not sit still even though they are my elders. I'm a spoilt kid within the family, the eldest grandson and the favored grandchild in both families... so no one really dare or attempt to badmouth me, at least not in front of me. Which also made me have zero fear when speaking to elders on par with my mom and dads. My mom's a huge "face lover", having a china daughter in law would probably send her close to depression and if I were to go against my relatives and my mom, everything would go south... moreover she really wanna be back home in China, eventually.
Yesterday I sent her off, one last time to the airport, a hug and a peck on the forehead and the last goodbye.
Didn't have any photos together, I did not want to be probed, she didn't think was necessary, I thought we should for memories sake but she wouldn't allow it because it was the "fattest" I've ever seen her so she claimed.
She's pregnant, ain't my kid, I never sleep with someone that's not mine, did it twice, with the same girl, outcome was a "pathetic hollow disgusting regurgitate" self reflection. For some reasons she decided to go back to her ex-bf, she did tell me sometime in October and she's ok etc.
Anyways I was feeling very awkward and awry on Friday, didn't really complete my work and this carried throughout the weekend as though I sense something bad was coming... Then Monday came... BAM ! she told me she was going home for good, and she needs to visit the doctor and if I could go with her, I was bz at work but I could just take time off and then work from home but she insist that she'd be fine since I'm working and I left it there and then THOUGH it did came to mind that she may be pregnant. Anyways I don't really like to care much about someone else's bae cuz it's utter stupidity to be looking after someone's girl ain't it??
Asked her for dinner before she leave and that's when she broke the news, I helped her pack and move her stuff on Wednesday and only then did I know that the dood's already married. ?_?_?_?
dafuq??? I mean, I know women's weakness = love... but this is just. Of course I was angry like why do it right but it's already done and again it really ain't my problem.
Then came this realization that, why my dad and gp had taken that "route" to womanize etc is probably never about love or lust, it's purely power, addicted to power, slave to power. Men can't let their pride down and they need to feel that they are better than everyone else. I struggle to really comprehend the whole concept of being 2nd priority in someone's life, dood's probably great with his words or she's probably his number 1 but she didn't want to marry him and left for Singapore couple of months after they broke up or whichever. But fact remains, if you are rich and powerful, these are the absurd things that can happen in life, which men probably craves.
It did struck me for about 8secs like WOW, if only I was this rich . . . then again I was never this motivated, even by instances like this... let's assume we were seeing each other still, we were never together and this happen, she decides to go back to her ex, i'll probably just admit that I'm not good enough and move along. It's too much work to be rich at their level ~
After she landed, she thank me and told me to pls have a great life ahead. I can't help but wonder how much more fk up this world can be, or at least in her world. She once told me that her grandma kicked her and her brother out in the streets in winter because her parents didn't send money back home punctually. I was quite livid and didn't think much about it, he was quite pissed then hahahha. I did check with my mom some days later and WOW, in my mother's days, that's what happens. So should I be blessed that I've never had such encounter, cover my ears and eyes, ignorance is bliss?
She's not gonna tell her family because it would bring shame to the family and she doesn't wanna hear it from her parents that they wanna disown her and things like that. Reputation and Face probably meant more in Chinese families than anything else and again I fail to come to terms with that. If my kid was knocked up, I won't even say a thing, she just have to come HOME, she just have to take care of her health and we as parents will do the rest... ain't it suppose to be this way?
Mixed feelings over the past week, too heavy and too damn much to end the year with stuff like that. I'm just a grain of sand, in this whole wide world... I really have no clue what world do we live in and what to expect anymore.
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