EIJIHS - ®

I hate you some times, but most of the time I hate you because I felt useless, helpless to be of any use to you. You've been someone whom I always look up to, my idol... ========== Diarrhea ... very xing ku ah, I'm dying... @ work.

I just want to be a ninja because this is fun, I just want to get married to a not pretty yet not ugly wife, 2 kids, a girl and a boy, retire when my daughter gets married and my son gets a job and go back to playing shogi - shikamaru (before he ambushed 8 sand ninjas) I just want to be in the finance industry so that I can earn slightly more money, get married to a not pretty but not ugly wife, with 2 kids, a girl and a boy, retire when both of them are married and go back to doing what I like best, sipping tea watching dvds, fishing, doodling with stereo or my car... -Shi Jie Mediocre: of moderate or low quality, value, ability, or performance : ordinary , so-so My trainer said "So you will end up being Mediocre". What's wrong with being mediocre? Is it because of Singapore or is it the same everywhere else?

While caking, someone pop right into my head. Anyway, my top strength is: 1. Ideation: loves associating and providing ideas 2. Command: leadership, loves to put his ideas through 3. Futurist: star-trek 4. Individualisation: view individual base on strength weakness, not stereotyping 5. Learner: keen to learn In short, I'm a futuristic creative open commander! Sounds awesome eh? Strength Finder 2.0 is a book that only concentrate on strengths ($39.00) zero about weaknesses so all you hear are good stuff. ======= Individualisation Anyway back to my caking session. Mr Ibrahim, came to my mind. He was quite a good looking Indian back in my primary school days. I've always tried to protect him though I admit to join in bullying him once in a while. Sometimes he'd come to me "begging" to help him or lend him money with his hands in "praying mode". I took pity of him ever since he did that once and when he told me "All i got is 40cents a day and they sto...

I couldn't sleep, algorithm of my life came into life! I finally realized what is the algorithm. Bad news is that, is this my limit? I also found my source of strength, as usual, I know but it ... So this is my maximum capability, so this is who am I and what I'm made off? Pathetic!

No longer ranting on veggie world anymore, I don't want you nice people to start worry bout unnecessary stuff. Everyone has their own issues and problems, I've been ranting for so quite sometime already, really appreciate all your solutions, C&Cs and TLCs ! Things have gotten out of hand, out of my hands. It's no longer within my powers, it has never been. I'm out of wits, out of energy, out of sync, out of laughter, out of joy... Helpless at what is going on and what will be happening next... So what's next? I'm losing grip... really so sick and tired of life, so tired of living each day, taking things one step at a time, paychecks after paychecks. I see nothing, except how far am I from my target , my dreams my on self-worth. I lost myself, I lost my pride, I lost my faith, I lost... Souless, lifeless, heartless. Life gets tougher, toughen life... I finally told you I miss you, do you know =P ===== Today I've had a bad appetite day. Everything just did...

i need some money money money ~ I've been eying for a new mediaplayer, earphones, amplifier, headphone amplifier, pc and speakers. Also new clothing for work, shoes, tie and a belt. Also... life's getting so tough and depressing, endless mugging sessions and nothing actually much to look forward to. Living paycheck after paychecks. Looking back, 3years ago I was way better off than I am now. So people often ask how much you can or have achieved. I went backwords. On slutsky or hicks theory, I'm definitely worst off at T0 comapred to T3 which is now. So so so so so...

Able to blog again. I had a weirdest of dreams recently. 1st freddie woke me up asking me about the livechat at 8am. Then I went straight back to sleep, dreamt about the livechat and woke up. Was 15minutes late but the girls were late too so I was lucky! Went back to sleep after the chat and dreamt about Khim ~ I don't know why, her twitter display picture just came out and we're asking her something "funny" ahaha, I'm sorry I can't disclose that And this morning, I woke up because yeeun told me to. I basically said ok, picked myself out of bed and went to the showers. Only to realize that it was a dream. She was in her EXR outfit though, could barely recall what she said, only remembered how she looked like. Imagine if I pounced and tried to hug her, I might just end up on my desk looking like an idiot. Bottom left corner ~ that was her, when she woke me up.

Blogging is something like photography? Capture the moment. Photography captures that picture while blogging captures the initial think process. I tend to have many thoughts on the go and it'd be great if I could blog on the spot. I attempted carrying a notepad with me which totally didn't work ~ Sigh... I clearly need a HTC Smart ! It retails at $380 if I didn't read it wrongly on the papers!

Recently I picked up a really bad habit. I started feasting at every opportunity, I don't chew, I basically just swallow my food down, by the huge chunk... It's really bad because you tend to over eat and get so fat. I'm already feeling it, sigh. Bla Bla Bla Bla ============ Friday was the first time I bought so much sweets ahaha!! Too lazy to upload the pics. I thought I took quite a bit, but it doesn't seem to be a lot yet they weigh really heavy ahahaha. Off you go soon, be the strength and motivation of someone in need. Fulfill your destiny *boomz* ! ahahaha =========== I didn't just found out, I already knew. But I simply cannot stand such people. People who are only concern about academic achievement, and people who blatantly just want to get the correct answer instead of grasping the concept to achieving the results. I ain't a very helpful person actually. I'm really selective to whom I would really help and I'd then wholeheartedly help you, else ...

i lost my motivation. to blog to fight to persevere what are we honestly fighting for?

I had a full packet of rice with 2 vege sides, 2 meat sides and 1 tofu side. Ravish the pack like mal-nourished china coal miner stucked underneath for ages. 5 minutes later, I'm hungry, but full. You people do get that sometimes right? It's call greed or sweet tooth! The item you're craving for is called COMFORT FOOD! Sotong ballz, Squidhead, Nuggets... Burrpppp ~ and now a simple milk tea from Mos Burger would be suffice. I'm going to be just as fat and lonely like Amos. Nah ~ he's a prick!

I believe growing up is about gaining experience through experimentation and actually going through the different phases in life. Many often beg to differ and chooses to protect. While none of us is wrong cuz Prevention is Better than CURE; and this is the god damn truth. None would want to experiment with AIDS, HIV, H1N1 or any other terminal disease BUT If we ever grows out of it, our body becomes immune and we become stronger. Just a random thought... so what do you guys think?

Had one of the most entertaining meetings ever, in my life. Met this guy from Eyeka. It was only then that I realized how huge they really are. We're meeting again this Friday... and I can't wait to see what they have to offer. Heart sank when I saw. Heart broke when I heard. I'm glad you turn to me. Be there with you whatever you do with all of my heart I promise you.

I skipped lesson today. An important 6hours lecture by a Brit from London School Of Economics and Political Science. The downside is that I will not be having a crash course back to statistics which I'm quite rusty at already and it'll hinder my pace of revision. So Y ? Pretty simple, to rejuvenate. I'm so weary and burdened, tired. If I'm there, my mind would wonder off and when I come home I'll be so piss because I barely understood what weekends are anymore. I took a day off on April Fool's day to go for class, Good Friday's class too, Saturday was down with flu because well, never mind the reason still I made it to school to touch up on my econs and a little bit of POA. Today today today ... *stop* I need a break, a little prank, a little defiance or complacency right now. I need to get IT back. 休息是为了走根长远的路。。。 excuses are for the weak. I'm belting under pressure. SHIT !!!

I think I am going crazy I think I am da baoing econs I think I am not going to get any As I think I am not saving enough I think I am not going to Snowboarding next year I think I am going to quit school soon I think I am not going to buy my DVDs or CDs I think I am not going to make it I think I am not hitting my goals I think I am begining to stop believing I think I am so sick and tired of explaining I think I am talking too much I think I am thinking too much I think I am not focus I think I am never good enough I think I am fake I think I am superficial I think I am weak I think I am inept I think I deserve it ... We become what we think about ==================================== It's just a low point of your life. Pick yourself up lad™ You're the one that keep me sane and hanging on *shhhhhh* i know I'm telling nobody

Ian's leaving, then Caron might leave too, Bernie is leaving then Ai Lei is gonna follow suit. Charles left and Lynette is leaving in a few days time. Boy² & Roxy's gonna go too and my grandpa probably... Everyone's leaving...

What a freak coincidence. My grandpa sort of need a major op and if things do not go well ... He still remembers me, asked about me and cares about me even with himself like that. I haven't visited him since then and I've been saying things like I'm so tired from work, so stressed up, school's a mess, life's a mess, blablablablabla... The awkward coincidence fell when I was going through nana's aka banana aka Fiona Cheng's blog. She wrote an entry about how she missed bidding her grandma goodbye and stuff... I'm still not sane I guess, cuz I ain't rushing to him right now? Thoughts of "It'll be ok, cammon which day and age are we at? Technology is so advance, what could go wrong?" ============= I simply cannot and will not tolerate such inept people anymore. No room for forgiveness, it's for the weak.

I made someone cried, like really cry. I thought she was joking but anyway, I didn't meant it. Mari and her 3 puppies aka. マリと子犬の物語 (2007) I miss boy² and roxy so much now. Death is one touchy topic that I've never like discussing. Days when we were younger, still in uniforms and holding hands, sometimes we get to see kids having a tiny squarish piece of colored cloth, pinned onto their clothing. Anyone of you remembered that, or wore that before ~ When i first got to know it's true meaning, I had insomnia for a week. I was 5 As I grew older, hitting double digits, I saw a few friends having to miss lessons because of that and I asked them how it was like and, they told me the fun stuff like staying up all night, learning how two play mahjong, having endless food to eat and all... I closest person that pass on, would be my grandmother's cousin. She used to own a stall at the market and I would eat there every weekend ~ Her daughter, my aunt was hysterical that day... Bo...